4 ms·

> Some are living in their parents basement until they're 30 to 40. I understand this is considered a bad thing, and it makes sense at a societal level, but ho

> Some are living in their parents basement until they're 30 to 40. I understand this is considered a bad thing, and it makes sense at a societal level, but honestly it sounds like a pretty amazing life. Maybe that would have been boring and depressing pre-internet, but it seems pretty good now. I know one dude who essentially grifted his way into the disability system, and I've watched him go from an anxious mess to a budding artist, literally living in his mom's basement. All he does is read the internet, take classes, and paint. His art keeps getting better. If he lives in his parent's basement for another decade, he might emerge as a great artist. Frankly, I'm kind of jealous. The obvious down side is that he has a hard time finding a date, and family interaction is not optional. IMO those are both relatively minor penalties for a lifetime of freedom. The real inexplicable thing here is how parents are letting this happen? I was never under any illusion that I'd be able to receive indefinite support from my parents, and society has given me every possible indication that this isn't an acceptable strategy. Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society.

cryoshon 7y ago
>Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. agreed. in america, the "acceptable way" is rapidly becoming suicide. of course, it's unacceptable. but that's what we've left people with.
- anon9001 7y ago
  Is there an acceptable way anywhere? I can understand suicide rather than work, but that only takes you as far as "not working". I want to get to "not working so I can follow my passions".
shard972 7y ago
You think a life where the only people who really know you and care about you actually kind of just loathe you? Contriubting nothing back to the scioety that created you? Leaving nothing on this earth after your gone then a collection of garbage? > Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. What does mentally can't handle work even mean. Animals can work, its that people don't want to work. Just because the reasons are probably more related to society than the individual doesn't mean they can't work.
- anon9001 7y ago
  > You think a life where the only people who really know you and care about you actually kind of just loathe you? You mean my coworkers? > Contriubting nothing back to the scioety that created you? Sorry, I'll get right back to selling ads. > Leaving nothing on this earth after your gone then a collection of garbage? Don't forget a pile of proprietary code. > What does mentally can't handle work even mean. It means that some people feel cornered and constant anxiety and occasional panic attacks due to their work obligations. Those people can't handle work.
tonyedgecombe 7y ago
>The real inexplicable thing here is how parents are letting this happen? What are the alternatives? Turn him out and see him become homeless?
- anon9001 7y ago
  Yes, that's one way we get homeless people. Another option is to be so toxic about the situation that you force the child out of the house. That's what would have happened to me, so I left before that.
  - refurb 7y ago
    Or you know, help them get established on their own as I've seen some parents do.
jedberg 7y ago
> Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. That is in part exactly the purpose of a UBI (or Andrew Yang's Freedom Dividend(tm)). To provide people with basic necessities so they can minimally survive without work.
cmdshiftf4 7y ago
>Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. I initially felt on-the-fence about this but upon further thought I absolutely disagree with the idea. Society works and thrives when we've a common goal (all working to make things slightly better for everyone one bit at a time) and honest reciprocal agreements as one. I am happy to partake in a society where the majority are trying their best for themselves and others, to support them when they fall down and want to get back up, or to step out of the workforce to procreate or retrain, to provide healthcare for all, access to housing, education etc. I don't mind paying a little more if everyone who's willing to try their best to lean in to society and contribute gets the support and opportunity to do so, even if there's a disproportionate difference in outcome i.e. if all you're capable of doing is flipping burgers, parking cars, collecting trash, etc. then that's fine, just do your best at it. I absolutely will not support those who just want to opt-out, unless safeguards were put in place to ensure their malignant genes stopped with them at the end of their days. I would also absolutely not support extending the right to vote to such people. You get out what you put in. It's ok to try and fail, or fall ill, or struggle with a mental illness. It's good for a society to be there to help you pick yourself back up, to become well, and try again. It's the intent that counts. If you (the rhetorical you) merely want to sit on the sidelines because "life's too tough" then I'm sorry but you won't be doing it on my dime, or trying to sway the direction of my society with voter rights.
- riversflow 7y ago
  Holy privilege Batman! > unless safeguards were put in place to ensure their malignant genes stopped with them at the end of their days. As if it’s their genetics and not their disenfranchisement from society that makes them want to drop out. We allow cheap foreign labor to displace these people, if we had stricter immigration I can guarantee that there would be less people in poverty, business would have to pay more to incentivize people to work there. And we hardly help men “pick themselves back up”. >you get what you put in. lol, that’s a good one, I’m sure the Koch brothers would agree. Plenty of people put in a lot and don’t get much back. Just because life worked out great for you—you put in effort and saw a return—doesn’t mean it works that way for everyone. I personally worked my ass off for 5 years and then got screwed out of my work by people with more money. >voter rights Am I getting trolled? You seriously want to associate voting rights with employment? Here I thought we left those sorts of attitudes in the last century.
asiachick 7y ago
It's extremely American (not sure about other western countries) to judge people, especially men, who are living at home in a very negative light. Old reference but the classic song "Scrubs" by TLC is is about not wanting to date a "scrub" and describes a "scrub" as "lives at home with your mama" Conversely, in many Asian countries it's common to live at home until well into your 30s and 40s. In know families in most Asian countries where 3 generations live in the same house. You can go through the dating sites in various countries here and see 30, 40, 50yr olds still living in their parents house. (it's a standard question on many Asian oriented dating sites) They may have studied abroad, or lived else where for a while but moved back in and no one blinks an eye. There's no or very little stigma unlike the USA.
- syshum 7y ago
  It is a direct result of marketing by 3 Industries Banks, Weddings, and Real Estate. Those 3 combined have made it the "American Dream" to buy a girl a fossilized carbon rock "worth" several times your monthly income, throw a big party at a cost exceeding most peoples yearly income, have 2.5 kids, and buy a home several times more than your yearly income Anything less that massive debt and obtaining this "ideal" "American Dream" means your a loser
thewebcount 7y ago
I'm trying something a little different. My sister-in-law almost became homeless for the 3rd time in a decade. The past 2 times friends have stepped in to house her for below-market rents, but got fed up with her after a few years each time. She did live with her father for about 6-months to a year the first time, as well. My spouse and I are fairly well off, so we decided rather than let her flounder for another decade or two, we'll buy a 2-bedroom condo, rent it to her, and let her rent out the second bedroom to someone else to supplement her income. We're hoping that with the knowledge that she won't become homeless (we can support her if she fails to pay rent, but we would rather it doesn't come to that), and with the additional income, she can claw her way back to a normal situation. The real problem is that her job simply doesn't pay enough to live on. She has 2 degrees so I would think she would be able to get a better job, but due to some mental illness, she's having a hard time doing it. The truth is that my spouse and I don't really know what we're doing, but this seemed like a reasonable way to help and give her some independence. What she really needs is better mental healthcare, but unlike houses or rent money, that's not really easy to just give to someone.

cryoshon 7y ago

>Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. agreed. in america, the "acceptable way" is rapidly becoming suicide. of course, it's unacceptable. but that's what we've left people with.

anon9001 7y ago
Is there an acceptable way anywhere? I can understand suicide rather than work, but that only takes you as far as "not working". I want to get to "not working so I can follow my passions".

shard972 7y ago

You think a life where the only people who really know you and care about you actually kind of just loathe you? Contriubting nothing back to the scioety that created you? Leaving nothing on this earth after your gone then a collection of garbage? > Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. What does mentally can't handle work even mean. Animals can work, its that people don't want to work. Just because the reasons are probably more related to society than the individual doesn't mean they can't work.

anon9001 7y ago
> You think a life where the only people who really know you and care about you actually kind of just loathe you? You mean my coworkers? > Contriubting nothing back to the scioety that created you? Sorry, I'll get right back to selling ads. > Leaving nothing on this earth after your gone then a collection of garbage? Don't forget a pile of proprietary code. > What does mentally can't handle work even mean. It means that some people feel cornered and constant anxiety and occasional panic attacks due to their work obligations. Those people can't handle work.

tonyedgecombe 7y ago

>The real inexplicable thing here is how parents are letting this happen? What are the alternatives? Turn him out and see him become homeless?

anon9001 7y ago
Yes, that's one way we get homeless people. Another option is to be so toxic about the situation that you force the child out of the house. That's what would have happened to me, so I left before that.
- refurb 7y ago
  Or you know, help them get established on their own as I've seen some parents do.

jedberg 7y ago

> Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. That is in part exactly the purpose of a UBI (or Andrew Yang's Freedom Dividend(tm)). To provide people with basic necessities so they can minimally survive without work.

cmdshiftf4 7y ago

>Maybe we need an acceptable way for people who can't mentally handle work to be able to exist in society. I initially felt on-the-fence about this but upon further thought I absolutely disagree with the idea. Society works and thrives when we've a common goal (all working to make things slightly better for everyone one bit at a time) and honest reciprocal agreements as one. I am happy to partake in a society where the majority are trying their best for themselves and others, to support them when they fall down and want to get back up, or to step out of the workforce to procreate or retrain, to provide healthcare for all, access to housing, education etc. I don't mind paying a little more if everyone who's willing to try their best to lean in to society and contribute gets the support and opportunity to do so, even if there's a disproportionate difference in outcome i.e. if all you're capable of doing is flipping burgers, parking cars, collecting trash, etc. then that's fine, just do your best at it. I absolutely will not support those who just want to opt-out, unless safeguards were put in place to ensure their malignant genes stopped with them at the end of their days. I would also absolutely not support extending the right to vote to such people. You get out what you put in. It's ok to try and fail, or fall ill, or struggle with a mental illness. It's good for a society to be there to help you pick yourself back up, to become well, and try again. It's the intent that counts. If you (the rhetorical you) merely want to sit on the sidelines because "life's too tough" then I'm sorry but you won't be doing it on my dime, or trying to sway the direction of my society with voter rights.

riversflow 7y ago
Holy privilege Batman! > unless safeguards were put in place to ensure their malignant genes stopped with them at the end of their days. As if it’s their genetics and not their disenfranchisement from society that makes them want to drop out. We allow cheap foreign labor to displace these people, if we had stricter immigration I can guarantee that there would be less people in poverty, business would have to pay more to incentivize people to work there. And we hardly help men “pick themselves back up”. >you get what you put in. lol, that’s a good one, I’m sure the Koch brothers would agree. Plenty of people put in a lot and don’t get much back. Just because life worked out great for you—you put in effort and saw a return—doesn’t mean it works that way for everyone. I personally worked my ass off for 5 years and then got screwed out of my work by people with more money. >voter rights Am I getting trolled? You seriously want to associate voting rights with employment? Here I thought we left those sorts of attitudes in the last century.

asiachick 7y ago

It's extremely American (not sure about other western countries) to judge people, especially men, who are living at home in a very negative light. Old reference but the classic song "Scrubs" by TLC is is about not wanting to date a "scrub" and describes a "scrub" as "lives at home with your mama" Conversely, in many Asian countries it's common to live at home until well into your 30s and 40s. In know families in most Asian countries where 3 generations live in the same house. You can go through the dating sites in various countries here and see 30, 40, 50yr olds still living in their parents house. (it's a standard question on many Asian oriented dating sites) They may have studied abroad, or lived else where for a while but moved back in and no one blinks an eye. There's no or very little stigma unlike the USA.

syshum 7y ago
It is a direct result of marketing by 3 Industries Banks, Weddings, and Real Estate. Those 3 combined have made it the "American Dream" to buy a girl a fossilized carbon rock "worth" several times your monthly income, throw a big party at a cost exceeding most peoples yearly income, have 2.5 kids, and buy a home several times more than your yearly income Anything less that massive debt and obtaining this "ideal" "American Dream" means your a loser

thewebcount 7y ago

I'm trying something a little different. My sister-in-law almost became homeless for the 3rd time in a decade. The past 2 times friends have stepped in to house her for below-market rents, but got fed up with her after a few years each time. She did live with her father for about 6-months to a year the first time, as well. My spouse and I are fairly well off, so we decided rather than let her flounder for another decade or two, we'll buy a 2-bedroom condo, rent it to her, and let her rent out the second bedroom to someone else to supplement her income. We're hoping that with the knowledge that she won't become homeless (we can support her if she fails to pay rent, but we would rather it doesn't come to that), and with the additional income, she can claw her way back to a normal situation. The real problem is that her job simply doesn't pay enough to live on. She has 2 degrees so I would think she would be able to get a better job, but due to some mental illness, she's having a hard time doing it. The truth is that my spouse and I don't really know what we're doing, but this seemed like a reasonable way to help and give her some independence. What she really needs is better mental healthcare, but unlike houses or rent money, that's not really easy to just give to someone.