4 ms·

> I've personally had a difficult time for not doing so (professionally, socially, etc.) It was the same for me for about 6 months, maybe a year. Then people s

by awb 7y ago

> I've personally had a difficult time for not doing so (professionally, socially, etc.) It was the same for me for about 6 months, maybe a year. Then people stopped offering drinks or asking why I didn't drink and things felt normal again. I think part of it was not going in to how bad it is for you because people who drink already know. I don't get uncomfortable without a drink, but if I feel like other people are anxious that I'm not drinking sometimes it helps to have an opaque cup with water (at home) or a mocktail (at a bar) so from across the room it looks like I have a drink. I've found that most 30+ yrs old people that asked why I don't drink don't really like drinking either and feel like they won't have fun or enjoy the party as much or fit in if they don't drink, but that they don't like the bloating or hangover effects if they have more than a drink or two.

tyfon 7y ago
> I've found that most 30+ yrs old people that asked why I don't drink don't really like drinking either and feel like they won't have fun or enjoy the party as much or fit in if they don't drink, but that they don't like the bloating or hangover effects if they have more than a drink or two. I'm about to cross 40 and I've stopped drinking completely. I don't enjoy the feeling and even after one beer I get depressed for three days following. There are lots of comments when I'm doing something socially but I just don't care. It's not my job to make people feel good about their drug use.
- awb 7y ago
  > There are lots of comments when I'm doing something socially but I just don't care I can see how people might feel abandoned when social bonds that formed in and around drinking now have to adapt. Keep going though, your body will appreciate it even if your friends don't right now. And if the friendship can't survive you not drinking, it might not be that healthy of a friendship anyway.
trts 7y ago
My personal experience has been that nobody notices. I have even had people ask me the next day how bad I was hurting from the night before. But you're right, it is true that it makes people uncomfortable. When someone offers me a drink, I usually just say thank you, maybe in a bit, or grab something else, or else just accept and not consume it or occasionaly take one small sip. As far as I know my colleagues have no idea that it's not something I ever do. I know this because I also have other colleagues who say, "I don't drink" and have witnessed them become a subject of speculation and intrigue among others when they are not around. The extent of the myth surrounding alcohol and its role in society seems to drive people to make extreme conclusions about an individual's choice to use it or not ('they must have hit rock bottom' e.g.). My preference is to avoid something obviously bad for my physical and emotional health that has no clear upside, and to just leave it at that.
big_chungus 7y ago
Honestly I've always been uncomfortable around inebriated people when sober. It's like a corny campfire song, fun only when everyone does it together. This is mostly because most people act stupid under the influence and though it's a bit funny at first, unless one is also drunk, it quickly becomes uncomfortable.

by awb 7y ago

tyfon 7y ago

> I've found that most 30+ yrs old people that asked why I don't drink don't really like drinking either and feel like they won't have fun or enjoy the party as much or fit in if they don't drink, but that they don't like the bloating or hangover effects if they have more than a drink or two. I'm about to cross 40 and I've stopped drinking completely. I don't enjoy the feeling and even after one beer I get depressed for three days following. There are lots of comments when I'm doing something socially but I just don't care. It's not my job to make people feel good about their drug use.

awb 7y ago
> There are lots of comments when I'm doing something socially but I just don't care I can see how people might feel abandoned when social bonds that formed in and around drinking now have to adapt. Keep going though, your body will appreciate it even if your friends don't right now. And if the friendship can't survive you not drinking, it might not be that healthy of a friendship anyway.

trts 7y ago

My personal experience has been that nobody notices. I have even had people ask me the next day how bad I was hurting from the night before. But you're right, it is true that it makes people uncomfortable. When someone offers me a drink, I usually just say thank you, maybe in a bit, or grab something else, or else just accept and not consume it or occasionaly take one small sip. As far as I know my colleagues have no idea that it's not something I ever do. I know this because I also have other colleagues who say, "I don't drink" and have witnessed them become a subject of speculation and intrigue among others when they are not around. The extent of the myth surrounding alcohol and its role in society seems to drive people to make extreme conclusions about an individual's choice to use it or not ('they must have hit rock bottom' e.g.). My preference is to avoid something obviously bad for my physical and emotional health that has no clear upside, and to just leave it at that.

big_chungus 7y ago

Honestly I've always been uncomfortable around inebriated people when sober. It's like a corny campfire song, fun only when everyone does it together. This is mostly because most people act stupid under the influence and though it's a bit funny at first, unless one is also drunk, it quickly becomes uncomfortable.