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There is a big difference between saying: "Wow, I really screwed the pooch there. It's going to take a while for me to live this one down. I better get to w
by lsc 16y ago
There is a big difference between saying:
"Wow, I really screwed the pooch there. It's going to take a while for me to live this one down. I better get to work."
and
"Wow, I really screwed the pooch there. I'm worthless and I can't do anything right. I should go drink."
One of those, I think, is a healthy way of accepting responsibility for failure. The other is not.
The same, really, goes on the upside.
- winestock 16y agoTrue. I was making a shoot-from-the-hip guess. The difference between the two approaches which you mentioned is a correct sense of proportion. Of course, the same applies to the other ways in which one internalizes/externalizes both success and failure.
- lsc 16y agoIt's got nothing to do with proportion. Assuming you don't consider suicide a rational choice, the first is always going to result in better outcomes for the individual who screwed up than the second, no matter how dramatic the failure. I mean, proportion has something to do with how publicly and how strongly you repent for your mistakes, but I don't see any case where it is in your best interest to accept that you are worthless. To be clear, I can see cases where it may be in other people's best interest to give up on you, but I don't see any case where it's in your own interest to give up on yourself.