Before you’re a parent you kinda have these conceived notions of how you will parent that are all based on a self-centered view. Which i say in the sense of the

Before you’re a parent you kinda have these conceived notions of how you will parent that are all based on a self-centered view. Which i say in the sense of the word, they are views on how you are going to parent because you think _____ (a you-you combo). Then you have a kid and the reality hits — this is a young person with their own ideas. You have ways that you want to parent that are going to conflict with what they want, so you have to navigate and negotiate. You used something they wanted as a carrot stick (couldn’t not) to get mutually beneficial behavior, you’re still gonna feel guilt but this seems well done to me.