This sounds a lot like the defectiveness and unrelenting standards lifetraps I mentioned in another comment. I encourage the author, and anyone else who recogni

This sounds a lot like the defectiveness and unrelenting standards lifetraps I mentioned in another comment. I encourage the author, and anyone else who recognizes themselves in his words, to go to therapy about this. You can also read the book I mentioned in a previous comment. In the opened my eyes to the lifetraps that have been affecting me the most and how they're playing out. I wish you success with overcoming this!