Behaviors are either learned or they can be learned. So either he reacts to failure in a way he's been taught to or you can teach him to react to failure in ne

Behaviors are either learned or they can be learned. So either he reacts to failure in a way he's been taught to or you can teach him to react to failure in new ways. By spanking him when he cries, the only thing he'll really learn is that failure carries with it punishment. He'll start getting really good at hiding failure and unwilling to try things for fear of failure. What you need to do is to teach him how to respond to failure. Part of this is by example. First, analyze how you respond to failure. How those around your son respond to failure. Do you complain, make a deal of it, treat it like something significant? Stop that. Acknowledge the failure. Say that it was hard and that you couldn't do it. Then move on. Make light of it. Something other than dwelling on it. Get him focused on problem solving rather than dwelling. Ok, I failed. What went wrong? What can I do instead? Is it worth doing instead? And don't acknowledge the crying. Don't give in to it. Ignore it. Don't respond to it. No threats, no withholding, no bargaining. Nothing. Act like he's not crying. Be calm, be rational, be steady. He will eventually respond in kind and respond to failure as you do.