This is it. When we're young and the main/only positive feedback we receive is due to our achievements, it becomes part of our identity and source of self worth

This is it. When we're young and the main/only positive feedback we receive is due to our achievements, it becomes part of our identity and source of self worth. Such a common trap for the combo of smart kid and anxious or narcissistic parents. After a bunch of therapy I eventually realized that many of my similar behaviors to OP were driven by a false belief that anything less than stellar success would result in annihilation. I felt like I had no worth if I couldn't achieve/succeed/impress. And of course I would feel that way because that's how I derived all of my worth as a child. At the end of the article the author mentions considering therapy. I really hope he does it.