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They’re a lazy gift because somehow offering cash direct has become a problem. So just spend the same money but make sure a retailer has already profited from i

by ljm 7y ago

They’re a lazy gift because somehow offering cash direct has become a problem. So just spend the same money but make sure a retailer has already profited from it. Direct cash is infinitely better than deciding where someone much spend money at. No gift at all and the promise of a good moment together is even better than that. Enjoy your time, not your possessions. Good old consumerism in action.

amflare 7y ago
Not necessarily. If I give my mother $50 for a spa place, I'm gifting her a relaxing day that she might not be able to budget for or otherwise justify. If I gift her $50 cash, it's probably going to get used as part of next week's grocery budget if not lost in her purse entirely.
- JohnFen 7y ago
  > If I give my mother $50 for a spa place, I'm gifting her a relaxing day that she might not be able to budget for or otherwise justify. If you know that your mother enjoys that particular spa, then I agree, it's a good, thoughtful gift -- basically that's the right way to use gift cards/certificates. That's not how they're used for the most part. For example, 90% of the time when I'm given a gift card, it's for Amazon -- the thought behind that is precisely the same as it would be for cash, except that I am now constrained to using it on Amazon rather than somewhere else that may be a lot better for me.
  - ghaff 7y ago
    People give Amazon gift cards because they think of them as basically giving cash without giving cash. I know it's not universal but, for me, an Amazon gift card just gets deposited straight into my Amazon account and applied against new orders until it's gone.
    - JohnFen 7y ago
      > People give Amazon gift cards because they think of them as basically giving cash without giving cash. For people who think of them that way, it just raises the question -- then why not give cash? Cash is much more useful.
- ljm 7y ago
  Well, why not talk to them and say you’ll make the spa happen rather than buying a voucher? A gift card is a crap surprise so why not communicate and say that for Christmas, you’ll make their spa trip happen. Then you go and book it or make arrangements. Like you would before gift cards existed. Sort it out for them so they don’t have to do it themselves. If she takes 50 bucks and uses it in groceries it’s because she needs them. If you arrange a spa day outright then it’s not a question of money.
leetcrew 7y ago
cash is a good present only when the giver is sufficiently wealthy that they can give you a meaningful amount of it without expecting you to respond in kind. when people give me cash I tend to just put it in my pocket and forget about it, spending it down on random daily expenses. when someone gives me a gift card, I usually buy a specific item that I will then associate with that person and think of them when I use it. I'd rather get cash from my proverbial rich uncle, but I'd prefer a gift card from a friend. honestly my favorite way to exchange presents with friends is just to tell each other exactly what we want. then we each get a useful thing that reminds us of our friendship.
- ljm 7y ago
  As I ended my first post with, I’d take no gift at all over any of that. I’d rather have a good memory or a connection. For the most part Christmas gifts are about balancing an equation by buying each other shit you don’t need and then hoping your spend cancels each other out. If it doesn’t, resentment and drama. You can both spend/save the exact same money together by buying nothing. Club together on food, drinks, hospitality. Get some good ingredients and booze, some stuff for the kids, and then help make it happen. Don’t bother trading things you would have already bought yourself. Unless you’re a child.
  - JohnFen 7y ago
    > As I ended my first post with, I’d take no gift at all over any of that. I’d rather have a good memory or a connection. I agree entirely with this. This is why my social circle (and most of my family) has a "no gifts" rule around gift-giving holidays and events (children excepted). But not everyone follows that.
    - ljm 7y ago
      I tried it with my family and they still insisted on offering gifts. I couldn’t take them in good conscience and eventually I left that family, I’m happier now than I was playing their game. The only time I do gifts now are because I genuinely, altruistically, want to share something.

by ljm 7y ago

amflare 7y ago

Not necessarily. If I give my mother $50 for a spa place, I'm gifting her a relaxing day that she might not be able to budget for or otherwise justify. If I gift her $50 cash, it's probably going to get used as part of next week's grocery budget if not lost in her purse entirely.

JohnFen 7y ago
> If I give my mother $50 for a spa place, I'm gifting her a relaxing day that she might not be able to budget for or otherwise justify. If you know that your mother enjoys that particular spa, then I agree, it's a good, thoughtful gift -- basically that's the right way to use gift cards/certificates. That's not how they're used for the most part. For example, 90% of the time when I'm given a gift card, it's for Amazon -- the thought behind that is precisely the same as it would be for cash, except that I am now constrained to using it on Amazon rather than somewhere else that may be a lot better for me.
- ghaff 7y ago
  People give Amazon gift cards because they think of them as basically giving cash without giving cash. I know it's not universal but, for me, an Amazon gift card just gets deposited straight into my Amazon account and applied against new orders until it's gone.
  - JohnFen 7y ago
    > People give Amazon gift cards because they think of them as basically giving cash without giving cash. For people who think of them that way, it just raises the question -- then why not give cash? Cash is much more useful.
ljm 7y ago
Well, why not talk to them and say you’ll make the spa happen rather than buying a voucher? A gift card is a crap surprise so why not communicate and say that for Christmas, you’ll make their spa trip happen. Then you go and book it or make arrangements. Like you would before gift cards existed. Sort it out for them so they don’t have to do it themselves. If she takes 50 bucks and uses it in groceries it’s because she needs them. If you arrange a spa day outright then it’s not a question of money.

leetcrew 7y ago

cash is a good present only when the giver is sufficiently wealthy that they can give you a meaningful amount of it without expecting you to respond in kind. when people give me cash I tend to just put it in my pocket and forget about it, spending it down on random daily expenses. when someone gives me a gift card, I usually buy a specific item that I will then associate with that person and think of them when I use it. I'd rather get cash from my proverbial rich uncle, but I'd prefer a gift card from a friend. honestly my favorite way to exchange presents with friends is just to tell each other exactly what we want. then we each get a useful thing that reminds us of our friendship.

ljm 7y ago
As I ended my first post with, I’d take no gift at all over any of that. I’d rather have a good memory or a connection. For the most part Christmas gifts are about balancing an equation by buying each other shit you don’t need and then hoping your spend cancels each other out. If it doesn’t, resentment and drama. You can both spend/save the exact same money together by buying nothing. Club together on food, drinks, hospitality. Get some good ingredients and booze, some stuff for the kids, and then help make it happen. Don’t bother trading things you would have already bought yourself. Unless you’re a child.
- JohnFen 7y ago
  > As I ended my first post with, I’d take no gift at all over any of that. I’d rather have a good memory or a connection. I agree entirely with this. This is why my social circle (and most of my family) has a "no gifts" rule around gift-giving holidays and events (children excepted). But not everyone follows that.
  - ljm 7y ago
    I tried it with my family and they still insisted on offering gifts. I couldn’t take them in good conscience and eventually I left that family, I’m happier now than I was playing their game. The only time I do gifts now are because I genuinely, altruistically, want to share something.