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From what I know, we feel less in order to not feel certain negative emotions we carry with us. I discovered recently a book that says we carry with us some "l

by elbear 7y ago

From what I know, we feel less in order to not feel certain negative emotions we carry with us. I discovered recently a book that says we carry with us some "lifetraps" we picked-up during childhood. The lifetraps are: 1. "Please, don't leave me!" - The Abandonment Lifetrap 2. "I can't trust you" - The Mistrust and Abuse Lifetrap 3. "I'll never get the love I need" - The Emotional Deprivation Lifetrap 4. "I don't fit in" - The Social Exclusion Lifetrap 5. "I can't make it on my own" - The Dependence Lifetrap 6. "Catastrophe is about to strike" - The Vulnerability Lifetrap 7. "I'm worthless" - The Defectiveness Lifetrap 8. "I feel like such a failure" - The Failure Lifetrap 9. "I always do it your way" - The Subjugation Lifetrap 10. "It's never quite good enough" - The Unrelenting Standards Lifetrap 11. "I can have whatever I want" - The Entitlement Lifetrap One way we cope with them is by avoiding the feelings they cause and we do that by numbing ourselves. LE: The book is called "Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior" by Jeffrey Young.

sethjgore 7y ago
What book is that?
Ididntdothis 7y ago
I can relate to several of that. In the end i believe it’s really hard to build a life where you feel secure but still can express yourself. So over time you play a role for the outside but inside you just go numb. I guess it has been this way for most people throughout history. Societies aren’t designed for happiness and self expression.
- elbear 7y ago
  It's true that it has been this way for most of human history. That's why children usually perpetuate their parents' behaviors. But you can stop this. That's what the book says. It takes a lot of work, but you can gradually change your beliefs.
- hef19898 7y ago
  Strangely, I feel better in situations I am less secure. More alert, less bored. And when I do have a certain degree of control over the volatile, and potentially threatening, situation it just feels great. Not in the sense of joy, so. More like a certain kind of calm satisfaction.
  - Ididntdothis 7y ago
    Same here. But I think there are two levels to this. I often feel energized in challenging situations if I can go back to a secure life afterwards. Even if the situation is life threatening . But being fundamentally insecure as in serious long term health problems or being broke and not able to find a job or being homeless is just never ending misery without escape.

by elbear 7y ago

sethjgore 7y ago

What book is that?

Ididntdothis 7y ago

I can relate to several of that. In the end i believe it’s really hard to build a life where you feel secure but still can express yourself. So over time you play a role for the outside but inside you just go numb. I guess it has been this way for most people throughout history. Societies aren’t designed for happiness and self expression.

elbear 7y ago
It's true that it has been this way for most of human history. That's why children usually perpetuate their parents' behaviors. But you can stop this. That's what the book says. It takes a lot of work, but you can gradually change your beliefs.
hef19898 7y ago
Strangely, I feel better in situations I am less secure. More alert, less bored. And when I do have a certain degree of control over the volatile, and potentially threatening, situation it just feels great. Not in the sense of joy, so. More like a certain kind of calm satisfaction.
- Ididntdothis 7y ago
  Same here. But I think there are two levels to this. I often feel energized in challenging situations if I can go back to a secure life afterwards. Even if the situation is life threatening . But being fundamentally insecure as in serious long term health problems or being broke and not able to find a job or being homeless is just never ending misery without escape.