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> Become a multi-deminsional, multi-faceted person. According to census statistics, there are 1.63 single men for every 1 woman in Marin County. 1.34 single me

> Become a multi-deminsional, multi-faceted person. According to census statistics, there are 1.63 single men for every 1 woman in Marin County. 1.34 single men per single woman in San Mateo County. 1.55 single men per single woman in Santa Clara County. So I really like your advice; if every man in the Bay became a "multi-deminsional, multi-faceted person", they would transcend the boundaries of plain arithmetic so there would be enough single women to date every one of them!

leni536 7y ago
The advice is for an individual, not all men collectively. But yeah the advice is not "be interesting", it's "be more interesting than a typical man in your area". The issue you describe is very real though.
- NeverFade 7y ago
  My point is that it will be really hard for straight men to date when there's 130-160 of them for every 100 women. Yes, each one of them could become ultra-competitive about it, and crawl on top of the others to be among the fortunate 60% who get dates, instead of the 40% who don't. But do you really want to live in an area where 40% of men can't get a date because there's simply no women available to them? We also haven't discussed the downsides to these fortunate 60% men. You worked on yourself, became interesting, and got a girlfriend. However, she knows with 50% more men than women in her area, she can easily replace you. That may make the relationship less pleasant than you think. "Just become more interesting to overcome all adverse effects from 50% gender diversity" is unfortunately quite naive.
clomond 7y ago
Solving the dating problem was not the question. > "How does one become more interesting" Sure, you can change your environment to be more *relatively interesting. But that was also not the core of the question as I understand it. Rather, providing a method or tips to be more OBJECTIVELY interesting today than your yesterdays self is something useful in any kind of 'dating market'.
- xenihn 7y ago
  How to become more interesting (as a guy in the bay area): - Make (significantly) more money (than most other guys in the bay area) - Be more attractive (than most other guys in the bay area) Making $120k in the bay area obviously isn't impressive. Neither is being fit without being on gear. It's all about the other guys around you. Both quality and quantity. These things would make you interesting in other parts of the country, or outside of the USA. Not here, though. Now how about $500k? You can afford a starter home, a nice car, custom-tailored clothing. Plastic surgery if you think you need it. You're presumably good at something that you're passionate about if you're being paid that much, even if it's "just" software engineering, and that's something people like. You can even date other software engineers who will be impressed by your skills and knowledge. Yeah the gender ratio sucks, but this is also the best place in the world to make your dual-FAANG-engineer-income power-couple dream come true. Come up with something that isn't (video/board)gaming, cycling, bouldering, or photography, that you do maybe once a month and say it's your hobby. Yoga is a decent choice. Grats, you're now interesting. Assuming you don't have any physical or psychological dealbreakers that can't be overlooked no matter how rich or ripped you get, that is.
  - mkohlmyr 7y ago
    Your definition of interesting might be the most interesting thing in this comment. I would not say that any of that makes you particularly interesting. Some of it might make you attractive to certain people, but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread. "Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting".
    - xenihn 7y ago
      >but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread. Is it? Being interesting is a competition. You are competing for the interest/attention of others. How interesting you are depends on how much better or worse you rank compared to others, in regards to the factors that make a person interesting. Relationships, friendships, jobs -- it's all competition for limited resources. >"Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting". Obviously you should have hobbies for the sake of personal fulfillment, and I don't see what would make you think I feel otherwise. But your hobbies are also part of your personal brand, and a factor in making you interesting (or boring), so it's important that you project as someone who has interesting hobbies (whether they actually qualify as hobbies or not, depending on the time and effort/money that you invest). Right? People list their hobbies on dating profiles. People (usually) talk about their hobbies on first dates. It's not uncommon for hobbies to be a discussion during job interviews. >Some of it might make you attractive to certain people Yes, hopefully (but not assuredly) attractive to certain people that you want to attract in the first place.
failuser 7y ago
Universities have dozens to hundreds applications per available seat, good jobs have more. So competition here is relatively moderate.

leni536 7y ago

The advice is for an individual, not all men collectively. But yeah the advice is not "be interesting", it's "be more interesting than a typical man in your area". The issue you describe is very real though.

NeverFade 7y ago
My point is that it will be really hard for straight men to date when there's 130-160 of them for every 100 women. Yes, each one of them could become ultra-competitive about it, and crawl on top of the others to be among the fortunate 60% who get dates, instead of the 40% who don't. But do you really want to live in an area where 40% of men can't get a date because there's simply no women available to them? We also haven't discussed the downsides to these fortunate 60% men. You worked on yourself, became interesting, and got a girlfriend. However, she knows with 50% more men than women in her area, she can easily replace you. That may make the relationship less pleasant than you think. "Just become more interesting to overcome all adverse effects from 50% gender diversity" is unfortunately quite naive.

clomond 7y ago

Solving the dating problem was not the question. > "How does one become more interesting" Sure, you can change your environment to be more *relatively interesting. But that was also not the core of the question as I understand it. Rather, providing a method or tips to be more OBJECTIVELY interesting today than your yesterdays self is something useful in any kind of 'dating market'.

xenihn 7y ago
How to become more interesting (as a guy in the bay area): - Make (significantly) more money (than most other guys in the bay area) - Be more attractive (than most other guys in the bay area) Making $120k in the bay area obviously isn't impressive. Neither is being fit without being on gear. It's all about the other guys around you. Both quality and quantity. These things would make you interesting in other parts of the country, or outside of the USA. Not here, though. Now how about $500k? You can afford a starter home, a nice car, custom-tailored clothing. Plastic surgery if you think you need it. You're presumably good at something that you're passionate about if you're being paid that much, even if it's "just" software engineering, and that's something people like. You can even date other software engineers who will be impressed by your skills and knowledge. Yeah the gender ratio sucks, but this is also the best place in the world to make your dual-FAANG-engineer-income power-couple dream come true. Come up with something that isn't (video/board)gaming, cycling, bouldering, or photography, that you do maybe once a month and say it's your hobby. Yoga is a decent choice. Grats, you're now interesting. Assuming you don't have any physical or psychological dealbreakers that can't be overlooked no matter how rich or ripped you get, that is.
- mkohlmyr 7y ago
  Your definition of interesting might be the most interesting thing in this comment. I would not say that any of that makes you particularly interesting. Some of it might make you attractive to certain people, but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread. "Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting".
  - xenihn 7y ago
    >but I think that's quite different from what was originally intended by "interesting" in this thread. Is it? Being interesting is a competition. You are competing for the interest/attention of others. How interesting you are depends on how much better or worse you rank compared to others, in regards to the factors that make a person interesting. Relationships, friendships, jobs -- it's all competition for limited resources. >"Say it's your hobby"... I suggest actually finding a hobby. Because it will make you happier, not because it will make you "look interesting". Obviously you should have hobbies for the sake of personal fulfillment, and I don't see what would make you think I feel otherwise. But your hobbies are also part of your personal brand, and a factor in making you interesting (or boring), so it's important that you project as someone who has interesting hobbies (whether they actually qualify as hobbies or not, depending on the time and effort/money that you invest). Right? People list their hobbies on dating profiles. People (usually) talk about their hobbies on first dates. It's not uncommon for hobbies to be a discussion during job interviews. >Some of it might make you attractive to certain people Yes, hopefully (but not assuredly) attractive to certain people that you want to attract in the first place.

failuser 7y ago

Universities have dozens to hundreds applications per available seat, good jobs have more. So competition here is relatively moderate.