4 ms·

> she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, and it would usually be a match. > "120k/year"? You'd make her laugh. I don't un

> she'd find at least one guy who is an exec or VC making 7 figures per year, and it would usually be a match. > "120k/year"? You'd make her laugh. I don't understand this fixation on earnings, I wasn't making half that when I found my partner. Making 7 figures won't get you a girlfriend, but thinking it will makes it likely any partner you do find won't stick around long. One of two things are happening, either a, all the women you're meeting truly are fixated on nothing but a man's wallet (highly unlikely but possible) or b, you have some seriously unhealthy views towards women and relationships that you should work on before attempting to enter a meaningful relationship.

username90 7y ago
Women find men with more money to be more attractive. It isn't the only factor, but it is a significant factor like for example height. > "A man can move himself two points higher on the attractiveness scale we used if his salary increases by a factor of 10," study author John Speakman told The Times. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-attracted-to-rich-men-scientists.html https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-...
- BuckRogers 7y ago
  I found my wife when I was unemployed. I wouldn't have it any other way. As a result, I remind myself to never forget it, and be extra good as a husband. Relationships are hard enough, if you're using your income (I had none, was on unemployment), or inheritance (I have none) as a carrot, you're in for a rude awakening someday. Apologies to Red Green, but while I'm not wealthy, I'm just a run of the mill software developer in Chicago.. she does find me handy and handsome!
  - NetOpWibby 7y ago
    Finding a spouse when you aren't well off or rich is the wave. From what I see/hear from my friends, dating is grueling. I've been with my mine for almost a decade.
  - ithkuil 7y ago
    attempts at explaining macro-scale socio-economics with the kind of game-theoretic arguments in this thread assume you can nudge one factor while keeping "all other things equal". It's hard to do this with perdonal anecdotes, yet that's what all of us have direct experience of.
  - nixarian 7y ago
    Was she unemployed or low income at the time? Does she currently make more money than you? Were you ambitious, and display that ambition to impress her? Having a humble wife is fortunate, yes, but it really is all relative.
  - fuqmachine 7y ago
    It's not always the money you're currently making that matters. The potential to make money is also subconsciously considered in dating.
  - antislice 7y ago
    I'm mostly impressed that anyone on this hellsite is paraphrasing Red Green.
- SamPatt 7y ago
  The book "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley goes into depth about how men and women choose their mates, based largely on evolutionary biology. People treat it like a character flaw for a woman to choose a man based on wealth and status, but why? A woman committing to a relationship likely means pregnancy and that requires resources and protection for years and years. That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of years. Expecting widespread birth control and changing societal norms to overcome all those years of evolution in only a few generations seems foolish.
  - nixarian 7y ago
    Because SHE CAN MAKE HER OWN MONEY. That's why. How do you not see that? And status doesn't always equate to money, yet status is what is selected for, not money, exactly. Money is just a status symbol. Women who make enough money to not need a man often STILL select based on wealth.
  - homonculus1 7y ago
    You're right, but the flip side is that men are actively shamed for pursuing their own evolutionary incentives. There are two layers of competition going on, the sexual-economic one and the fluffy interpersonal one, but some people gain leverage by maintaining the fiction that one of them is obsolete. This fiction is enforced by calling everyone who notices it a misogynist or an incel.
    - NeverFade 7y ago
      Indeed. I don't fault women for preferring wealthy and successful men. I don't fault men for preferring young, beautiful women.
  - NeverFade 7y ago
    > That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of years. Try "millions" :)
mk30 7y ago
ding ding ding: "Making 7 figures won't get you a girlfriend, but thinking it will makes it likely any partner you do find won't stick around long."

username90 7y ago

Women find men with more money to be more attractive. It isn't the only factor, but it is a significant factor like for example height. > "A man can move himself two points higher on the attractiveness scale we used if his salary increases by a factor of 10," study author John Speakman told The Times. https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-attracted-to-rich-men-scientists.html https://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/women-are-more-...

BuckRogers 7y ago
I found my wife when I was unemployed. I wouldn't have it any other way. As a result, I remind myself to never forget it, and be extra good as a husband. Relationships are hard enough, if you're using your income (I had none, was on unemployment), or inheritance (I have none) as a carrot, you're in for a rude awakening someday. Apologies to Red Green, but while I'm not wealthy, I'm just a run of the mill software developer in Chicago.. she does find me handy and handsome!
- NetOpWibby 7y ago
  Finding a spouse when you aren't well off or rich is the wave. From what I see/hear from my friends, dating is grueling. I've been with my mine for almost a decade.
- ithkuil 7y ago
  attempts at explaining macro-scale socio-economics with the kind of game-theoretic arguments in this thread assume you can nudge one factor while keeping "all other things equal". It's hard to do this with perdonal anecdotes, yet that's what all of us have direct experience of.
- nixarian 7y ago
  Was she unemployed or low income at the time? Does she currently make more money than you? Were you ambitious, and display that ambition to impress her? Having a humble wife is fortunate, yes, but it really is all relative.
- fuqmachine 7y ago
  It's not always the money you're currently making that matters. The potential to make money is also subconsciously considered in dating.
- antislice 7y ago
  I'm mostly impressed that anyone on this hellsite is paraphrasing Red Green.
SamPatt 7y ago
The book "The Red Queen" by Matt Ridley goes into depth about how men and women choose their mates, based largely on evolutionary biology. People treat it like a character flaw for a woman to choose a man based on wealth and status, but why? A woman committing to a relationship likely means pregnancy and that requires resources and protection for years and years. That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of years. Expecting widespread birth control and changing societal norms to overcome all those years of evolution in only a few generations seems foolish.
- nixarian 7y ago
  Because SHE CAN MAKE HER OWN MONEY. That's why. How do you not see that? And status doesn't always equate to money, yet status is what is selected for, not money, exactly. Money is just a status symbol. Women who make enough money to not need a man often STILL select based on wealth.
- homonculus1 7y ago
  You're right, but the flip side is that men are actively shamed for pursuing their own evolutionary incentives. There are two layers of competition going on, the sexual-economic one and the fluffy interpersonal one, but some people gain leverage by maintaining the fiction that one of them is obsolete. This fiction is enforced by calling everyone who notices it a misogynist or an incel.
  - NeverFade 7y ago
    Indeed. I don't fault women for preferring wealthy and successful men. I don't fault men for preferring young, beautiful women.
- NeverFade 7y ago
  > That's how it's been for hundreds of thousands of years. Try "millions" :)

mk30 7y ago

ding ding ding: "Making 7 figures won't get you a girlfriend, but thinking it will makes it likely any partner you do find won't stick around long."