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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes
by hirundo 7y ago
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2005/sep/29/comedy.religion https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2005/sep/29/comedy.religio...
- NotSammyHagar 7y agoI was going to say there are a lot more religious groups than c or j, your joke goes back to the interesting thesis here. I call it keeping up with the "Joneses". It's definitely something I see in the world, in my own behavior at times. But it's not my only motivation in life. I have things I like to do that no one else around me does, internal motivation. I'm hopefully not doing them in some subconscious comparison to others that exist a 1,000 miles away. My interest in certain unproved math. problems, or space research, or porn, or skiing or cats or whatever - I can have my own desires. I don't buy it that intrinsically I am unlikely to have no uniqueness.
- walshemj 7y agoIts more a dark joke about the large number of protestant splinter groups that founded most of the colonies. Some left the UK and the Netherlands as those countries where to liberal in terms of freedom of religion.
- golergka 7y agoSo, a narrator saved him from a deadly sin of suicide, trading it for murder that he would have to answer for? That's very noble for a believing Christian.