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Not in a six year old. It's called child development. Heard of it? Because if the child isn't old enough to gain reason and judgement you are just killing cr
by LPTS 18y ago
Not in a six year old.
It's called child development. Heard of it? Because if the child isn't old enough to gain reason and judgement you are just killing creativity, for no benefit. What age do reason and judgement hone to the right degree?
Not 6, thats for damn sure. This is depressing.
I could just see jraines and xlnt with a toddler. xlnt: "Now, Joey, it's Da-dee, not da-da. It's important to pronounce things preciesly" jraines: "I think you can impart precision without killing the kids language skills"
- xlnt 18y agoWhen I was 4 I liked chess. By the time I was 6 I reasonably often beat my parents at chess, and had improved quite a lot. Doesn't chess require reason and judgment?
- LPTS 18y agoAnother textbook autistic trait. This kid isn't wired like you. Normal children do not have those reasoning abilities at that age. You can't reasonably project from your experience to his, but are more likely to, because that's how people with autistic traits relate.
- xlnt 18y agoThe original poster did not say how this child is wired. I think that parental expectations of children to dislike criticism is a large factor in why they usually grow up to dislike it.
- LPTS 18y agoThe original poster indicated the child was engaged in spontaneous sharing, which indicates the child isn't on the spectrum. (Spontaneous sharing requires an ability to model the reaction of the person you share with, which requires the mirror neurons thought to be deficient in the autistic spectrum) Again, (and I don't mean any of this to sound harsh) your thoughts are not too relevant, because you can't use your kind of reasoning here. My dad (who is on the spectrum) ended up being horribly abusive to me throughout my childhood and teenage years because of thinking a lot like this. I don't want to conflate you and him, just to warn you that there is a really big trap it's easy for people with your personality traits to fall into around being overly logical, the projection that people with deficient mirror neurons have to resort to for relating to people, and how to treat and raise kids. You should recognize that you need the help of a person who doesn't share your mind-blindness to make appropriate judgements about children and how to relate to them. You absolutely cannot figure out how to treat kids on your own if you are on the spectrum. Using your logic, you should recognize it doesn't apply, and that you need a tool that isn't in your toolbox. Either a person who does have that skill who you listen to, or enough study of child psychology to reason your way to the right way to treat neurotypical kids.
- xlnt 18y agoWould I be correct to say that your comments/position are not specific to how to treat children? Any sort of autistic/non-autistic communication gap would be the same if one or both persons was an adult. PS would you like to continue this by AIM or email? curi42 / curi@curi.us
- LPTS 18y agoIncorrect. It's possible for autistic adults to relate well to non-autistic adults in many circumstances (discussing technical things at work, for example, or discussing common interests) without the extra effort. There will always be some sort of gap, but it's not always even that big of a deal. My comments are particular to children both because they are more at risk of being inadvertently harmed, and because they have less (in some cases, no) compensatory defense mechanisms. I don't use AIM but I will drop you an email after I get off my ass for a half hour and grab something to eat from my trailer.
- xlnt 18y agoYou should recognize that you need the help of a person who doesn't share your mind-blindness to make appropriate judgements about children and how to relate to them. You absolutely cannot figure out how to treat kids on your own if you are on the spectrum. So suppose we take the list of all the people who have similar views to me, on these issues. Then we go through the list and check if each person is autistic. If we find one who isn't autistic, then can we count these as valid positions?
- rms 18y agoYou can be a 4 year old chess prodigy without any autistic like traits. There are normal well developed chess prodigies. Also the phenomenon of Go Prodigies in Asia
- rms 18y agoThe problem comes when the child can't choose for themselves if they want to focus intensely on something like chess. The most important thing about raising a very smart child is to let them them make their own decisions and expose them to different appropriate things they can do with their intelligence.
- Tichy 18y agoHow do you know how that kid is wired?
- deleted 18y ago[deleted]
- jraines 18y agoIt's completely possible to be able to play chess and enjoy it, in a sense, at 6 without being autistic. "You would be shitty parents and you're autistic". Nice line of argument.
- deleted 18y ago[deleted]
- vchakrav 18y agoBy your logic, one could have seriously hampered your self confidence by suggesting that your reasoning about this is faulty, and the only reason you beat your parents at chess was because they werent very good at it. I dont mean to be coming across as rude, but I believe the better way to handle the six year old is to encourage the process of creativity and imagination. There are enough people in his life (at least a Quadrupillion!!) that will try to tell him that hes being impractical and unrealistic, no need to add to that count.
- jraines 18y ago"hone to the right degree" what does that mean, exactly? Did someone forget to impart precision to you, ever? And how are you so sure that 6 is "for damn sure" to old? I was in a gifted program at 6, and I don't remember much about it except crying at some of the problems I couldn't solve, and nobody came and shoved rainbows up my ass to make me feel better about it, and I'm thankful they didn't.