IMHO, some arguments can be highly productive, but I think it takes a certain amount of rapport to effectively argue with someone. I've had discussions with fri

IMHO, some arguments can be highly productive, but I think it takes a certain amount of rapport to effectively argue with someone. I've had discussions with friends where we began with one set of positions, and by the end had swapped positions! Those sorts of arguments are enlightening and memorable, but they require a certain amount of openness and ease with the other person, where you can feel free to toss around ideas without necessarily having to defend them. If you don't have that, then indeed, confirmation bias will kick in. In cases where I've felt that happening, I've found it helpful to try to pinpoint fundamental assumptions or values that are (by definition) inarguable. Unveil these, and you'll either resolve the debate with "well, you value X and I value Y, and no amount of arguing will change that," or "we both assume/value X but have reached different conclusions, Y and Z -- what would it take to falsify Y or Z?" My girlfriend and I have somewhat opposing political views, so I have some practice at this.