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Not to sound callous, but I have trouble understanding crippling device addiction in general. I grew up constantly on a computer, I'm still on it regularly, I'm

Not to sound callous, but I have trouble understanding crippling device addiction in general. I grew up constantly on a computer, I'm still on it regularly, I'm a pretty heavy phone user, but I have no problem without these things and I do other things. If i'm with people, I don't fuck around on my phone, I don't feel any sense of missing out or loss when I can't be on it. I do other things that don't involve phones or computers at all. I just tend to look at them as tools that just happen to be handy for a shit ton of things. It sucks when I cant use them, but it's really not the end of the world and i've probably had more screen time than some of these kids or even teenagers have been alive for.

trianglem 7y ago
I’ve been using computers since I was 10 and I can agree with you. However I think it strongly depends on what you do online. I don’t use a lot of social media and I think that’s where most kids end up spending their time. If I had to guess you don’t use too much social media either?
- thrwaway69 7y ago
  I would consider myself a bit addicted but I don't use any social media unless you consider semi-anonymous (hn?) forums to be a kind of social media. I noticed I am addicted to mostly reading short posts and replies. If I don't, it tends to put me at unrest unless I am engaging in some other activity. I think it sort of acts as a stimulant. I prefer to be anonymous and interact with different people everytime otherwise it is unsettling so opposite of what social media rewards.
  - SketchySeaBeast 7y ago
    I avoid the more common social media, but I do find myself enjoying places like HN and Reddit a little too much - my brain craves novelty and short clips to amuse me. It's easier to flip through a bunch of GIFs and JPEGs than to read a book. It's probably not the same dopamine hit as Instagram, but it's still very much there.
lallysingh 7y ago
If you focus on apps designed to live on dopamine feedback, and on users who hit adolescence with that in hand, I think a reasonable case can be made for an addiction.
- alexis_fr 7y ago
  It’s the « People are boring » effect, compared to even a Youtube video which is a compacted speech that constantly catches your attention. However, relationships are also broken, and we should do something about it as much as decrease phone usage. I’m not sure which way is the causation here, but countless times I have told my needs to people/relatives (I need to avoid being constantly put down as a man, specifically, I have cleaned my room and I have a six-figure job after all) and people are wired to reject that idea and claim men as a class don’t deserve to be told positive things. I retreat to my phone by despair, not because the phone is interesting. More recently I have found far-right friends, but again, it’s just because they respect me, not because it’s awesome: It’s a palliative, not a solution. It’s discussed in the book « The boy crisis » of Warren Farrell (former president of NOW, the National Organization for Women), but hey, people claim he is « controversial » so no-one’s gonna take it into account. Men — need — some — love. Or they’ll find it elsewhere.
  - lallysingh 7y ago
    What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit. If you're surrounded by that, it's got to be incredibly unhappy. Some thoughts (unsolicited, I recognize): - to make space in your life for better people, start deprecating the toxic ones. - there are lots of positive groups of men. Not always, but places to look: Dojos, Freemasons, sports groups (not necessarily very athletic groups, either). - some independent fun helps. A motorcycle is fun. - or start bodybuilding to get some of these assholes to fear you a bit. People compliment those that they fear. Unsolicited, given, but HTH.
    - monoideism 7y ago
      > What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit. Yet fairly typical in modern Western society. I can’t count the number of times people have open insulted and/or discounted “males” and particularly “white males” in my presence. “Oh, but you’re different”. I have no idea how to even respond to that. I can’t even imagine people doing the same to women or minority males 25 years ago without (justifiably) being excluded from polite society (it was happening to gay people back then, and I’m very glad those days are pretty much over, or at least much better).

trianglem 7y ago

I’ve been using computers since I was 10 and I can agree with you. However I think it strongly depends on what you do online. I don’t use a lot of social media and I think that’s where most kids end up spending their time. If I had to guess you don’t use too much social media either?

thrwaway69 7y ago
I would consider myself a bit addicted but I don't use any social media unless you consider semi-anonymous (hn?) forums to be a kind of social media. I noticed I am addicted to mostly reading short posts and replies. If I don't, it tends to put me at unrest unless I am engaging in some other activity. I think it sort of acts as a stimulant. I prefer to be anonymous and interact with different people everytime otherwise it is unsettling so opposite of what social media rewards.
- SketchySeaBeast 7y ago
  I avoid the more common social media, but I do find myself enjoying places like HN and Reddit a little too much - my brain craves novelty and short clips to amuse me. It's easier to flip through a bunch of GIFs and JPEGs than to read a book. It's probably not the same dopamine hit as Instagram, but it's still very much there.

lallysingh 7y ago

If you focus on apps designed to live on dopamine feedback, and on users who hit adolescence with that in hand, I think a reasonable case can be made for an addiction.

alexis_fr 7y ago
It’s the « People are boring » effect, compared to even a Youtube video which is a compacted speech that constantly catches your attention. However, relationships are also broken, and we should do something about it as much as decrease phone usage. I’m not sure which way is the causation here, but countless times I have told my needs to people/relatives (I need to avoid being constantly put down as a man, specifically, I have cleaned my room and I have a six-figure job after all) and people are wired to reject that idea and claim men as a class don’t deserve to be told positive things. I retreat to my phone by despair, not because the phone is interesting. More recently I have found far-right friends, but again, it’s just because they respect me, not because it’s awesome: It’s a palliative, not a solution. It’s discussed in the book « The boy crisis » of Warren Farrell (former president of NOW, the National Organization for Women), but hey, people claim he is « controversial » so no-one’s gonna take it into account. Men — need — some — love. Or they’ll find it elsewhere.
- lallysingh 7y ago
  What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit. If you're surrounded by that, it's got to be incredibly unhappy. Some thoughts (unsolicited, I recognize): - to make space in your life for better people, start deprecating the toxic ones. - there are lots of positive groups of men. Not always, but places to look: Dojos, Freemasons, sports groups (not necessarily very athletic groups, either). - some independent fun helps. A motorcycle is fun. - or start bodybuilding to get some of these assholes to fear you a bit. People compliment those that they fear. Unsolicited, given, but HTH.
  - monoideism 7y ago
    > What group of assholes believes that? It's sexist bullshit. Yet fairly typical in modern Western society. I can’t count the number of times people have open insulted and/or discounted “males” and particularly “white males” in my presence. “Oh, but you’re different”. I have no idea how to even respond to that. I can’t even imagine people doing the same to women or minority males 25 years ago without (justifiably) being excluded from polite society (it was happening to gay people back then, and I’m very glad those days are pretty much over, or at least much better).