This is an example of a phenomenon in our culture: people would rather lie to appear to conform to social norms, than have an honest, human conversation. When

This is an example of a phenomenon in our culture: people would rather lie to appear to conform to social norms, than have an honest, human conversation. When I ask someone to write me a letter of recommendation, I ask them "Will you write me a positive letter of recommendation? I'm not asking you to lie for me, but if you don't want to write something positive, or just don't want to write me the recommendation, I want to know so I can ask someone else." I've been doing this since high school (I'm 33 now) and I've had one person say "No" to me in that time. There have been many cases where people haven't offered me interviews or whatever, but I have no reason to believe that was because of letters of recommendation.