For me, I feel like caffeine is a constant reminder of how stressful my life is. The day I can forego caffeine is the moment I feel like I've made it in life. B

For me, I feel like caffeine is a constant reminder of how stressful my life is. The day I can forego caffeine is the moment I feel like I've made it in life. But for now, when I sometimes go cold-turkey on it, within days I will have someone reminding me of some business chore that has to be completed. A cup of coffee helps me find the motivation to complete the task. The same goes for work. Shit hits the fan during the day, and to offset the frustration I drink coffee. It's the same for past-time. When I start slipping from my workout routine, a fast line of pure caffeine just before I should be going to the gym sets my mind on going to the gym. And I don't take it lightly -- when the stress from expectations and accumulated responsibilities start appearing at the same time of the year (as they in some wicked way always do) I start piling on caffeine. Once I was even hospitalized. Years ago in simpler times, I was able to take a week-long vacation in a forest cabin without electricity (or coffee). The first day I did not want to do anything, so I slept 20 hours instead, waking up occasionally for an hour or so before going to sleep again. This continued for the next two days, and the people accompanying me thought I fell sick. On the fourth day, I finally felt like actually doing something. I felt like a lot of the stress and crankiness was gone, and I became more open about helping others again. Yet, at the same time, this is exactly how I end up finding new responsibilities - worthy of the added concentration of caffeine - again.