4 ms·

I’ve thought about this a lot. I think it’s important that dating people match based on relative attractiveness, health, energy level, tidiness, age/maturity, m

I’ve thought about this a lot. I think it’s important that dating people match based on relative attractiveness, health, energy level, tidiness, age/maturity, mental attitude, goals and standard of living. Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” Perhaps a more palatable way to approach this is to legitimately screen/curate each applicant and rate them honestly so that there’s less disappointment on blind matching. Also, you don’t what a Philip DeFranco moment of moving to NYC for a would-be significant other that is actually a 16-year-old con artist in Idaho.

octorian 7y ago
> Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” This. So much this. Above all else. Playing the whole game of an online back-and-forth "relationship" before the first meeting is annoying and exhausting. Honestly, it feels like a complete waste of time as well. There will be a yay/nay decision made by at least one party, within the first FIVE MINUTES of that first in-person meeting, that will render EVERYTHING previously exchanged online to be completely irrelevant. Better to just get to that point as quickly as possible, and not kid ourselves about it.
- crooked-v 7y ago
  This kind of thing is why I feel like there's an untapped market in some kind of facilitated speed dating that does some kind of basic prescreening on mutual preferences (age range, want/don't want kids, general interests, etc) and sets up events when there's a sufficient 'pool' of people whose Venn diagrams all reasonably intersect.
  - IG_Semmelweiss 7y ago
    Its pretty tapped in NYC. Theres a huge speed dating market there. Pay the fee, exchange 5 minutes with 24 assorted people of your same age. Next!
DoreenMichele 7y ago
Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” From what I gather, dating sites are dealing with the reality that women tend to want relationships before sex and men tend to want sex. Women also face various safety concerns when going out to meet people in person that they only know via internet. If you want a meet-and-greet site, those are some of the issues that would need to be addressed to make it fly.
klyrs 7y ago
> Also, you don’t what a Philip DeFranco moment of moving to NYC for a would-be significant other that is actually a 16-year-old con artist in Idaho. Users of this site aren't forbidden from exchanging contact info and swapping photos / video chat. That scenario seems far fetched.
Mountain_Skies 7y ago
About ten years ago I signed up for several dating sites. Okcupid was the best at matching but Match.com, despite inferior matching, was better for in person meetings. My guess is that this was because Match.com had a monthly subscription fee while Okcupid did not. The meter was running, so to speak, and people were more direct and wanted to meet up after a few email exchanges. On Okcupid there was no penalty for dragging things out other than the possibility of the other person giving up or getting into a relationship. I wonder if some of the dating services where the matching is done by humans rather than programs are successful simply because they're expensive which filters out the casual tire kickers.
gieoon 7y ago
This is a very pragmatic/practical approach to dating, where you're not messing around and you're looking for specific qualities/traits to be fulfilled. The next steps can be to assess the other person's appearance, style, etc. It's kind of like Tinder inverted where analysis comes before photo.

octorian 7y ago

> Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” This. So much this. Above all else. Playing the whole game of an online back-and-forth "relationship" before the first meeting is annoying and exhausting. Honestly, it feels like a complete waste of time as well. There will be a yay/nay decision made by at least one party, within the first FIVE MINUTES of that first in-person meeting, that will render EVERYTHING previously exchanged online to be completely irrelevant. Better to just get to that point as quickly as possible, and not kid ourselves about it.

crooked-v 7y ago
This kind of thing is why I feel like there's an untapped market in some kind of facilitated speed dating that does some kind of basic prescreening on mutual preferences (age range, want/don't want kids, general interests, etc) and sets up events when there's a sufficient 'pool' of people whose Venn diagrams all reasonably intersect.
- IG_Semmelweiss 7y ago
  Its pretty tapped in NYC. Theres a huge speed dating market there. Pay the fee, exchange 5 minutes with 24 assorted people of your same age. Next!

DoreenMichele 7y ago

Also, dating sites should facilitate meeting, not pen-pals or “virtual” phony “relationships.” From what I gather, dating sites are dealing with the reality that women tend to want relationships before sex and men tend to want sex. Women also face various safety concerns when going out to meet people in person that they only know via internet. If you want a meet-and-greet site, those are some of the issues that would need to be addressed to make it fly.

klyrs 7y ago

> Also, you don’t what a Philip DeFranco moment of moving to NYC for a would-be significant other that is actually a 16-year-old con artist in Idaho. Users of this site aren't forbidden from exchanging contact info and swapping photos / video chat. That scenario seems far fetched.

Mountain_Skies 7y ago

About ten years ago I signed up for several dating sites. Okcupid was the best at matching but Match.com, despite inferior matching, was better for in person meetings. My guess is that this was because Match.com had a monthly subscription fee while Okcupid did not. The meter was running, so to speak, and people were more direct and wanted to meet up after a few email exchanges. On Okcupid there was no penalty for dragging things out other than the possibility of the other person giving up or getting into a relationship. I wonder if some of the dating services where the matching is done by humans rather than programs are successful simply because they're expensive which filters out the casual tire kickers.

gieoon 7y ago

This is a very pragmatic/practical approach to dating, where you're not messing around and you're looking for specific qualities/traits to be fulfilled. The next steps can be to assess the other person's appearance, style, etc. It's kind of like Tinder inverted where analysis comes before photo.