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I get labeled as a paralyzed grey thinker type. In my twenties I did it all with the travel, party, foodie, career conference crap. In my thirties, I consciousl

I get labeled as a paralyzed grey thinker type. In my twenties I did it all with the travel, party, foodie, career conference crap. In my thirties, I consciously worked on not giving a shit about every little option an possibility. Life need not be seen as a Burger King giving it to me my way. Counting a spoiled American kid childhood, 30 years of being spoon fed options that marketing felt fit the curve best wore thin. I’ve become incredibly DIY and avoid socializing because it’s more of the same. Making music at home, learning, creating. I make tons of choices in those contexts all the time, building a new emotional vibe each time. Picking a sushi joint for the thousandth time is just mind numbingly banal in comparison. And so I seem to have become “indecisive” to others, when internally I just don’t give a shit to go out for sushi again.

jcims 7y ago
One behavioral difference I've found in myself vs. my wife is that I always look for what was wrong with my decision after the fact and she always looks for the win in hers. The reality is that you have to spend time thinking about both to truly learn from the exercise, but focusing on what went right definitely improves confidence. Another thing that a decade of painstakingly quantified decision making has taught me is that the metric details often don't actually matter that much and rarely lead you to a satisfying choice. My most recent example is the purchase of a Bosch dishwasher. I did quite a bit of looking and landed on one of the higher end series that did very well across the board in reviews. I hate it. The dishes come out with this weird sweaty feel to them, the racks suck, and the user interface is beyond horrendous (something that a week stay in a rental property confirmed is common to all Bosch appliances). So I'm slowly working my way out of it, but I'm almost 50. Wish I would have had better constitution about this out of the gate.
- jacobush 7y ago
  Bosch sucks. But yeah, the problem is not Bosch but the other stuff. I'm also working on it and not far off the heels of your age.

jcims 7y ago

One behavioral difference I've found in myself vs. my wife is that I always look for what was wrong with my decision after the fact and she always looks for the win in hers. The reality is that you have to spend time thinking about both to truly learn from the exercise, but focusing on what went right definitely improves confidence. Another thing that a decade of painstakingly quantified decision making has taught me is that the metric details often don't actually matter that much and rarely lead you to a satisfying choice. My most recent example is the purchase of a Bosch dishwasher. I did quite a bit of looking and landed on one of the higher end series that did very well across the board in reviews. I hate it. The dishes come out with this weird sweaty feel to them, the racks suck, and the user interface is beyond horrendous (something that a week stay in a rental property confirmed is common to all Bosch appliances). So I'm slowly working my way out of it, but I'm almost 50. Wish I would have had better constitution about this out of the gate.

jacobush 7y ago
Bosch sucks. But yeah, the problem is not Bosch but the other stuff. I'm also working on it and not far off the heels of your age.