5 ms·

> Is everyone really required to learn all these new words / triggers / etc. in order to appease a tiny tiny fraction of the population? Every person you meet

> Is everyone really required to learn all these new words / triggers / etc. in order to appease a tiny tiny fraction of the population? Every person you meet is a minority of 1 in 7 billion. Is it so hard for you to learn how to understand people? Do you have trouble with new words and concepts?

dctoedt 7y ago
> Do you have trouble with new words and concepts? The trouble comes when a tiny minority (i) decides that the accepted meaning of common terms no longer suits their personal preference — I refer here to the use of they as a generic singular pronoun in formal language — and (ii) insists loudly that anyone who fails to conform to their new preference is being hurtful and disrespectful instead of merely precise.
- danharaj 7y ago
  Can you use a concrete example to illustrate your claim?
  - dctoedt 7y ago
    I did in the edited version (I hadn't seen your question before doing the edit).
    - danharaj 7y ago
      I'ma be real with you chief. That's hella shallow and pedantic. I think it would be hurtful and disrespectful to die on such a mole hill instead of just accommodating people over something so simple.
      - dctoedt 7y ago
        It never ceases to astonish me how ready some people are to feel hurt and disrespected — and to brand anyone who disagrees with them as "shallow and pedantic." I have no desire to expend scarce brain cycles trying to keep up with who wants to be addressed in what manner.
        danharaj 7y ago
        > I have no desire to expend scarce brain cycles trying to keep up with who wants to be addressed in what manner. This is disrespectful. You might think that this disrespect is warranted- that's fine; one must make judgment calls about what to respect and what not to respect. It's still disrespect. Be yourself: own it :)
        dctoedt 7y ago
        > This is disrespectful. You've calibrated your disrespect alarm to an awfully low setpoint.
        shkkmo 7y ago
        Many people of different types have preferences about what they consider respectful forms of address and communication. I don't expect people to always get it right (I certainly don't), but it is entirely reasonable to see am unwillingness to even try to be polite as disrespectful.
        dctoedt 7y ago
        It's not impolite to use standard terms of address, and it's disrespectful to expect others to learn and remember your personal, nonstandard preference for how you want to be addressed.
        shkkmo 7y ago
        They is the only available standard gender neutral term. The only alternative is "it" which is generally considered offensive when applied to people (try calling a new baby whose gender you don't know "it" and see what kind of look you get).
- diag 7y ago
  It's not up you how somebody wants to be addressed after requesting it. You don't have to harbor cruel feelings about it. Singular they has been used in English for a long time historically.
  - dctoedt 7y ago
    > It's not up you how somebody wants to be addressed after requesting it. Really? If you were to ask me to address you as Your Imperial Majesty, you should not hold your breath waiting for me to comply. Language evolves; in formal English, singular they has long been unacceptable. (Informal English is another story.) EDIT: >You don't have to harbor cruel feelings about it. You're proving my point in assuming I "harbor cruel feelings" about trans people.
diag 7y ago
All you have to do if you say something offensive to somebody is say "I'm sorry, I won't say that again. I'll be more accommodating in the future."

dctoedt 7y ago

> Do you have trouble with new words and concepts? The trouble comes when a tiny minority (i) decides that the accepted meaning of common terms no longer suits their personal preference — I refer here to the use of they as a generic singular pronoun in formal language — and (ii) insists loudly that anyone who fails to conform to their new preference is being hurtful and disrespectful instead of merely precise.

danharaj 7y ago
Can you use a concrete example to illustrate your claim?
- dctoedt 7y ago
  I did in the edited version (I hadn't seen your question before doing the edit).
  - danharaj 7y ago
    I'ma be real with you chief. That's hella shallow and pedantic. I think it would be hurtful and disrespectful to die on such a mole hill instead of just accommodating people over something so simple.
    - dctoedt 7y ago
      It never ceases to astonish me how ready some people are to feel hurt and disrespected — and to brand anyone who disagrees with them as "shallow and pedantic." I have no desire to expend scarce brain cycles trying to keep up with who wants to be addressed in what manner.
      - danharaj 7y ago
        > I have no desire to expend scarce brain cycles trying to keep up with who wants to be addressed in what manner. This is disrespectful. You might think that this disrespect is warranted- that's fine; one must make judgment calls about what to respect and what not to respect. It's still disrespect. Be yourself: own it :)
        dctoedt 7y ago
        > This is disrespectful. You've calibrated your disrespect alarm to an awfully low setpoint.
      - shkkmo 7y ago
        Many people of different types have preferences about what they consider respectful forms of address and communication. I don't expect people to always get it right (I certainly don't), but it is entirely reasonable to see am unwillingness to even try to be polite as disrespectful.
        dctoedt 7y ago
        It's not impolite to use standard terms of address, and it's disrespectful to expect others to learn and remember your personal, nonstandard preference for how you want to be addressed.
        shkkmo 7y ago
        They is the only available standard gender neutral term. The only alternative is "it" which is generally considered offensive when applied to people (try calling a new baby whose gender you don't know "it" and see what kind of look you get).
diag 7y ago
It's not up you how somebody wants to be addressed after requesting it. You don't have to harbor cruel feelings about it. Singular they has been used in English for a long time historically.
- dctoedt 7y ago
  > It's not up you how somebody wants to be addressed after requesting it. Really? If you were to ask me to address you as Your Imperial Majesty, you should not hold your breath waiting for me to comply. Language evolves; in formal English, singular they has long been unacceptable. (Informal English is another story.) EDIT: >You don't have to harbor cruel feelings about it. You're proving my point in assuming I "harbor cruel feelings" about trans people.

diag 7y ago

All you have to do if you say something offensive to somebody is say "I'm sorry, I won't say that again. I'll be more accommodating in the future."