4 ms·

The point of social interactions is to connect with someone. If most of an interaction is awkward, you're not connecting. At that rate, you're just wasting time

The point of social interactions is to connect with someone. If most of an interaction is awkward, you're not connecting. At that rate, you're just wasting time, and might as well do something alone. In the context of TFA, connecting is about filling a need for social interaction. That cannot be filled by awkwardness. If it's business or there's some other ulterior motive: sure.

mc3 7y ago
I think the OP's motive here is to offer interaction to the other person who might be lonely. Not to make the OP feel good while not wasting time.
rdiddly 7y ago
Yeah but the beginning of any relationship with anyone who's in any way different from you, is going to be awkward. If you push through that, you start to learn and get better at relating to that person, and they do the same. If you cut it off prematurely because it's awkward, then you just created the self-fulfilling prophecy that the entire relationship was awkward.
rexpop 7y ago
Awkwardness is due to lack of social graces, and communication skills. Perhaps one can train on these in the absence of other, live humans--read, for example, "How to Work a Room," or "The Fine Art of Smalltalk"--but ultimately, one must learn to navigate awkwardness. In fact, I might go so far as to argue that the "connection" you're talking about is generated only by _resolving awkwardness_. Where there's none to resolve, there's no connection to be made. Relationships worn smooth by years of resolution aren't valuable in the same way.
- closeparen 7y ago
  You can effortfully apply all the social graces and make correct small talk, and still come away from an interaction thinking, “that was excruciating.” These situations can be even more awkward than when someone actually commits a faux pas.
Angostura 7y ago
I do phone befriending with AgeUK. Yes it’s awkward to begin with for them and you. But you might be the only person they get to speak to that week. Tough it out. It gets better.

mc3 7y ago

I think the OP's motive here is to offer interaction to the other person who might be lonely. Not to make the OP feel good while not wasting time.

rdiddly 7y ago

Yeah but the beginning of any relationship with anyone who's in any way different from you, is going to be awkward. If you push through that, you start to learn and get better at relating to that person, and they do the same. If you cut it off prematurely because it's awkward, then you just created the self-fulfilling prophecy that the entire relationship was awkward.

rexpop 7y ago

Awkwardness is due to lack of social graces, and communication skills. Perhaps one can train on these in the absence of other, live humans--read, for example, "How to Work a Room," or "The Fine Art of Smalltalk"--but ultimately, one must learn to navigate awkwardness. In fact, I might go so far as to argue that the "connection" you're talking about is generated only by _resolving awkwardness_. Where there's none to resolve, there's no connection to be made. Relationships worn smooth by years of resolution aren't valuable in the same way.

closeparen 7y ago
You can effortfully apply all the social graces and make correct small talk, and still come away from an interaction thinking, “that was excruciating.” These situations can be even more awkward than when someone actually commits a faux pas.

Angostura 7y ago

I do phone befriending with AgeUK. Yes it’s awkward to begin with for them and you. But you might be the only person they get to speak to that week. Tough it out. It gets better.