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There is little socialization at home - when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Hypermobility in the se

There is little socialization at home - when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Hypermobility in the service of jobs has broken a lot of that cohesion. You usually don't live next door to your parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts any more. This gets worse the more urban the area is - rural areas still have some of that cohesion. Neighborhood socialization? Not in any apartment complex I've ever seen. Walk down the floor, eyes straight, avoid even basic salutations. It's slightly better in suburbia, but not much. In the grocery store? Have you been to a large grocery store? It's not socialization just because there's a lot of people. What meaningful interactions are there in a grocery store? This leaves church. And as it turns out, that's not everybody's cup of tea. American's may not spend all their time in the car. They do spend exorbitant amounts of time in their care. They do have much less opportunity to socially engage than most Europeans experience. What social experience there is often needs large quantities of alcohol - and while I haven't seen any studies on the subject, I'm still holding the belief that at least a good chunk of that is due to needing to deal with the anxiety of an extremely uncommon situation. As I said above, many of these factors are somewhat lesser in more rural communities, but they experience a large flight of the younger demographic towards cities, curtailing cross-generational interaction. And that's not just an "uninformed view". I've spent several decades inside and outside the US, and seen a few cultures in the process - and that view holds. But let's dismiss that as anecdote, too, and look at actual data, time spent visiting friends per day[1]. The US is way down that list. It's very likely car culture is far from the only reason for that, but the US is a country that seems fairly isolating. https://www.statista.com/statistics/522039/time-spent-visiting-friends-countries/ https://www.statista.com/statistics/522039/time-spent-visiti...

solidasparagus 7y ago
> when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Very very often. Maybe every month? And large neighborhood get togethers at least every week. Perhaps you are overly generalizing from your experiences. Large families/neighborhoods that meet regularly are not a foreign concept in the US. Although HN probably caters to the sort of people who do not go to these things.
- groby_b 7y ago
  Please note that I added data as well. It isn't just based on personal experiences. There may be regional differences, there may be urban/rural differences, but overall, the US socializes significantly less. Same goes for leisure time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_time_devoted_to_leisure_and_personal_care https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_time_devo... Dropping amount of social time in the US: https://qz.com/1320344/americans-are-socializing-less-and-playing-more-games/ https://qz.com/1320344/americans-are-socializing-less-and-pl... Also, it's likely income/wealth dependent: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550616641472?journalCode=sppa https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/194855061664147... (Given that the US is what, #3 in terms of median wealth, I'd consider this mild corroboration) (Edit: Formatting. I swear, the lack of lists in HN...)
- ryanwaggoner 7y ago
  They specifically said “most families”, not “your family”
SolaceQuantum 7y ago
"Neighborhood socialization? Not in any apartment complex I've ever seen. Walk down the floor, eyes straight, avoid even basic salutations." I recently moved into an apartment in manhattan, and I know my neighbours, and smile to them and they smile to me. One even let me borrow their toolbox.
- skrebbel 7y ago
  That's because people in Manhattan aren't dependent on their cars.
  - larnmar 7y ago
    No, it’s probably just a result of local variation. Some buildings or low-density neighbourhoods are super friendly, some buildings or low-density neighbourhoods are unfriendly. There’s a lot of reasons going on, it’s dependent on individuals. In super-friendly neighbourhoods I’ve found it’s often one person who’s doing all the work to keep everyone connected.
JohnFen 7y ago
> There is little socialization at home - when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Can you support this assertion as a blanket statement? I don't see much evidence of this in my own personal experience. I grant that it may be the case in certain areas and groups, but across the board? I'm not seeing it.
buboard 7y ago
> to socially engage than most Europeans experience. Whoa. ‘Europeans’ are pretty diverse. Southerners get easily alienated in the north. I d say Americans are pretty friendly, fake friendly but still

solidasparagus 7y ago

> when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Very very often. Maybe every month? And large neighborhood get togethers at least every week. Perhaps you are overly generalizing from your experiences. Large families/neighborhoods that meet regularly are not a foreign concept in the US. Although HN probably caters to the sort of people who do not go to these things.

groby_b 7y ago
Please note that I added data as well. It isn't just based on personal experiences. There may be regional differences, there may be urban/rural differences, but overall, the US socializes significantly less. Same goes for leisure time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_time_devoted_to_leisure_and_personal_care https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_time_devo... Dropping amount of social time in the US: https://qz.com/1320344/americans-are-socializing-less-and-playing-more-games/ https://qz.com/1320344/americans-are-socializing-less-and-pl... Also, it's likely income/wealth dependent: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550616641472?journalCode=sppa https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/194855061664147... (Given that the US is what, #3 in terms of median wealth, I'd consider this mild corroboration) (Edit: Formatting. I swear, the lack of lists in HN...)
ryanwaggoner 7y ago
They specifically said “most families”, not “your family”

SolaceQuantum 7y ago

"Neighborhood socialization? Not in any apartment complex I've ever seen. Walk down the floor, eyes straight, avoid even basic salutations." I recently moved into an apartment in manhattan, and I know my neighbours, and smile to them and they smile to me. One even let me borrow their toolbox.

skrebbel 7y ago
That's because people in Manhattan aren't dependent on their cars.
- larnmar 7y ago
  No, it’s probably just a result of local variation. Some buildings or low-density neighbourhoods are super friendly, some buildings or low-density neighbourhoods are unfriendly. There’s a lot of reasons going on, it’s dependent on individuals. In super-friendly neighbourhoods I’ve found it’s often one person who’s doing all the work to keep everyone connected.

JohnFen 7y ago

> There is little socialization at home - when's the last time (outside Christmas and Turkey Day) most families hosted a large gathering? Can you support this assertion as a blanket statement? I don't see much evidence of this in my own personal experience. I grant that it may be the case in certain areas and groups, but across the board? I'm not seeing it.

buboard 7y ago

> to socially engage than most Europeans experience. Whoa. ‘Europeans’ are pretty diverse. Southerners get easily alienated in the north. I d say Americans are pretty friendly, fake friendly but still