4 ms·

> It's possible, but in my experience, there is someone for everyone. lol citation needed. I've used dating apps for the last four years. I've gotten maybe 3-

by colmvp 7y ago

> It's possible, but in my experience, there is someone for everyone. lol citation needed. I've used dating apps for the last four years. I've gotten maybe 3-4 dates per year, and 0 relationships out of it.

Pigo 7y ago
I met my wife on a dating app. She was my girlfriend in junior high and just happened to have gotten a divorce, and was starting to date again. So it worked for me :) Just try to find someone you've already had a relationship with. Seriously though, I feel your pain. I had let the account lapse for months before I happened to get back on there and see that she had written me. Dating apps become a joke exponentially as you get older.
overcast 7y ago
Please take this as friendly. It sounds like maybe you're setting your expectations too high, and not giving other women a chance. In my experience women take what you write in your profile seriously. Spend what you would consider an inordinate amount of time perfecting it, like you would a resume for big job prospect. Get great photos taken of yourself, this doesn't require money or a professional service. Find good light, take lots, use the best of them. Grainy, poorly lit, unflattering photos will be dismissed quickly. Don't make them all selfies. You want to show off your best features, and what makes you, well you. But seriously, work on what you say in your profile. Nearly every response I get from a woman, is about how well my profile is written.
- throwno 7y ago
  Tinder: LinkedIn for sex! Modernity is awful. The only good thing is improved medical care and food security. Everything is else is just bad.
  - woah 7y ago
    Are you yearning for the days when you would be matched with the one available woman in your village? (She’s your second cousin, btw)
    - throwno 7y ago
      Luckily for me the Catholic Church banned cousin marriages and arranged marriages centuries ago. But, yeah, I suppose for people outside of the occident applying for sex on a website as if you are applying for a coding job might be an improvement.
- Mirioron 7y ago
  You still need to be somewhat attractive for all of this to matter. Not everyone is.
  - n0rbwah 7y ago
    Not really a serious advice but there it is: if you can fix some of it with some light photoshopping, do it. Plenty of women do it too and for many of them it's not at all light. Think of it as polishing your CV by omitting some embarrassing stuff and putting forwards the things you want. Your goal shouldn't be to be 100% honest when writing your profile/CV. Just to make it enticing enough to get your foot in the door.
curryst 7y ago
That really sucks. I moved and have spent some time working on my profiles, so I'll share my advice if you want it. I usually get 7 or 8 likes per week, usually 1-2 that I'm interested in talking to, and usually go on a date with a new person every couple of weeks. First advice, pay for the premium service on the apps. I know it's not cheap, but being able to see who liked you is a huge gain. I've had very little success getting matches otherwise unless I was going to spend way too much time swiping. And it's still drastically cheaper than a match maker. Secondly, when writing your profile and choosing pictures, you want to make choices based on the women looking at your profile's perspective. Does he look good? Does he seem interesting? Do we have things to talk about? Share some interesting bits about your life that women might find interesting and want to ask you about. Have you gone anywhere cool lately? Have you picked up any interesting hobbies? (But stay away from esoteric stuff. Database design is cool, but very few people will get it). Maybe you cooked something really cool and exotic for dinner the other day. Don't try to be overly impressive. If you want to look fancy, have selfies of yourself before you went to an event in a suit, or maybe at the event. Make sure the focus is on you, instead of the event/car/house/whatever. But it can always be in the background. Trying to be overly impressive comes off one dimensional, like you aren't interesting other than puffing yourself up. Showing that you're doing well and are a well adjusted, successful person is good, you just have to make sure it's a facet of your profile instead of a focus. Make sure you keep your standards reasonable. We would all love to date a neuroscientist who's a lingerie model in her spare time. Those women are exceedingly rare, and even rarer on dating apps. They probably don't need a dating app to keep a full dance card. Swiping really screws up your perspective of what the dating pool looks like. Your feed is always full of absurdly attractive women, but keep in mind that a lot of those are fake profiles. Lastly, make sure you iterate. Take the dates you can get, even if they're not perfect to you. Maybe they're better than you thought; if not, use it as a learning experience. What did they like about you? What didn't they? You can use that feedback to adjust your profile and how you communicate to make yourself more appealing. Plus, going on dates is pretty much universally fun, so there isn't much to lose!

by colmvp 7y ago

Pigo 7y ago

I met my wife on a dating app. She was my girlfriend in junior high and just happened to have gotten a divorce, and was starting to date again. So it worked for me :) Just try to find someone you've already had a relationship with. Seriously though, I feel your pain. I had let the account lapse for months before I happened to get back on there and see that she had written me. Dating apps become a joke exponentially as you get older.

overcast 7y ago

Please take this as friendly. It sounds like maybe you're setting your expectations too high, and not giving other women a chance. In my experience women take what you write in your profile seriously. Spend what you would consider an inordinate amount of time perfecting it, like you would a resume for big job prospect. Get great photos taken of yourself, this doesn't require money or a professional service. Find good light, take lots, use the best of them. Grainy, poorly lit, unflattering photos will be dismissed quickly. Don't make them all selfies. You want to show off your best features, and what makes you, well you. But seriously, work on what you say in your profile. Nearly every response I get from a woman, is about how well my profile is written.

throwno 7y ago
Tinder: LinkedIn for sex! Modernity is awful. The only good thing is improved medical care and food security. Everything is else is just bad.
- woah 7y ago
  Are you yearning for the days when you would be matched with the one available woman in your village? (She’s your second cousin, btw)
  - throwno 7y ago
    Luckily for me the Catholic Church banned cousin marriages and arranged marriages centuries ago. But, yeah, I suppose for people outside of the occident applying for sex on a website as if you are applying for a coding job might be an improvement.
Mirioron 7y ago
You still need to be somewhat attractive for all of this to matter. Not everyone is.
- n0rbwah 7y ago
  Not really a serious advice but there it is: if you can fix some of it with some light photoshopping, do it. Plenty of women do it too and for many of them it's not at all light. Think of it as polishing your CV by omitting some embarrassing stuff and putting forwards the things you want. Your goal shouldn't be to be 100% honest when writing your profile/CV. Just to make it enticing enough to get your foot in the door.

curryst 7y ago

That really sucks. I moved and have spent some time working on my profiles, so I'll share my advice if you want it. I usually get 7 or 8 likes per week, usually 1-2 that I'm interested in talking to, and usually go on a date with a new person every couple of weeks. First advice, pay for the premium service on the apps. I know it's not cheap, but being able to see who liked you is a huge gain. I've had very little success getting matches otherwise unless I was going to spend way too much time swiping. And it's still drastically cheaper than a match maker. Secondly, when writing your profile and choosing pictures, you want to make choices based on the women looking at your profile's perspective. Does he look good? Does he seem interesting? Do we have things to talk about? Share some interesting bits about your life that women might find interesting and want to ask you about. Have you gone anywhere cool lately? Have you picked up any interesting hobbies? (But stay away from esoteric stuff. Database design is cool, but very few people will get it). Maybe you cooked something really cool and exotic for dinner the other day. Don't try to be overly impressive. If you want to look fancy, have selfies of yourself before you went to an event in a suit, or maybe at the event. Make sure the focus is on you, instead of the event/car/house/whatever. But it can always be in the background. Trying to be overly impressive comes off one dimensional, like you aren't interesting other than puffing yourself up. Showing that you're doing well and are a well adjusted, successful person is good, you just have to make sure it's a facet of your profile instead of a focus. Make sure you keep your standards reasonable. We would all love to date a neuroscientist who's a lingerie model in her spare time. Those women are exceedingly rare, and even rarer on dating apps. They probably don't need a dating app to keep a full dance card. Swiping really screws up your perspective of what the dating pool looks like. Your feed is always full of absurdly attractive women, but keep in mind that a lot of those are fake profiles. Lastly, make sure you iterate. Take the dates you can get, even if they're not perfect to you. Maybe they're better than you thought; if not, use it as a learning experience. What did they like about you? What didn't they? You can use that feedback to adjust your profile and how you communicate to make yourself more appealing. Plus, going on dates is pretty much universally fun, so there isn't much to lose!