4 ms·

Tinder (and presumably, dating apps in general) are in reality likely horrible for actually meeting people [1] [2]. [1] https://theoutline.com/post/3402/tinder

Tinder (and presumably, dating apps in general) are in reality likely horrible for actually meeting people [1] [2]. [1] https://theoutline.com/post/3402/tinder-is-not-actually-for-meeting-anyone?zd=1&zi=76law6b4 https://theoutline.com/post/3402/tinder-is-not-actually-for-... [2] https://theoutline.com/post/3711/the-tinder-struggle-visualized?zd=1&zi=sgobd7u7 https://theoutline.com/post/3711/the-tinder-struggle-visuali...

jfengel 7y ago
In my experience, I had better luck than he did, though not by orders of magnitude. 3,000 swipes per date seems high. I'd guess it's closer to 1,000. But he makes it sound like deathly drudgery, and I think that's missing the point. It's "gamified" to give you bits of positive feedback. Matching feels good, like a little compliment. One doesn't have to enjoy that; not every game is for everybody. And the process itself should be interesting: the swiping process is a lot of momentary life stories. A picture really is a thousand words. If you're not interested in it, then the app isn't for you, but it is for some people. So I suspect "horrible" is in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, I invested a fair bit of time per date, but it was reasonably rewarding time. I met a lot of great people, including some relationships that lasted years. The main lesson I wish I'd knew going in: the population is densest in cities. It's less effective in the burbs. Duh, of course, but I spent a lot more time traveling into the city than I'd bargained for. That's the only time I really regret about it.
- mrguyorama 7y ago
  The fact of the matter in Tinder for men is: if you aren't a 9.5 or 10, your chances quickly approach zero. Let a sister or female friend swipe for you sometime and watch how literally any small and random thing is an excuse to swipe left. Women have the freedom to be picky on dating apps, and they absolutely are.
  - jfengel 7y ago
    I assure you, I am not a 9.5, and I did very, very well on Tinder. I'm not actively ugly, but there are plenty of small things a woman being picky would reject. I swear, I should make a career in fixing people's dating profiles. Though the hard part is fixing their attitudes about women, which is the real thing holding them back. If I could fix that, they'd know how to fix their profiles.

jfengel 7y ago

In my experience, I had better luck than he did, though not by orders of magnitude. 3,000 swipes per date seems high. I'd guess it's closer to 1,000. But he makes it sound like deathly drudgery, and I think that's missing the point. It's "gamified" to give you bits of positive feedback. Matching feels good, like a little compliment. One doesn't have to enjoy that; not every game is for everybody. And the process itself should be interesting: the swiping process is a lot of momentary life stories. A picture really is a thousand words. If you're not interested in it, then the app isn't for you, but it is for some people. So I suspect "horrible" is in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, I invested a fair bit of time per date, but it was reasonably rewarding time. I met a lot of great people, including some relationships that lasted years. The main lesson I wish I'd knew going in: the population is densest in cities. It's less effective in the burbs. Duh, of course, but I spent a lot more time traveling into the city than I'd bargained for. That's the only time I really regret about it.

mrguyorama 7y ago
The fact of the matter in Tinder for men is: if you aren't a 9.5 or 10, your chances quickly approach zero. Let a sister or female friend swipe for you sometime and watch how literally any small and random thing is an excuse to swipe left. Women have the freedom to be picky on dating apps, and they absolutely are.
- jfengel 7y ago
  I assure you, I am not a 9.5, and I did very, very well on Tinder. I'm not actively ugly, but there are plenty of small things a woman being picky would reject. I swear, I should make a career in fixing people's dating profiles. Though the hard part is fixing their attitudes about women, which is the real thing holding them back. If I could fix that, they'd know how to fix their profiles.