15 years of software engineering experience, and I don't know how to ask a question on SO without having it shut down as non-constructive, or that I should have

15 years of software engineering experience, and I don't know how to ask a question on SO without having it shut down as non-constructive, or that I should have used one of the 300 odd ultra niche sister sites. Most vendors and libraries have IRC / Slack channels which are much more welcoming.