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The other thing I want to mention is your negativity towards chasing money. It's... well, it's a tell for someone who either is rich or is trying to sound rich

by lsc 7y ago

The other thing I want to mention is your negativity towards chasing money. It's... well, it's a tell for someone who either is rich or is trying to sound rich. For most of us? The money and security is the first goal when choosing a career. It has to be, for most of us. I mean, sure, if you are (or are trying to pretend) that you are wealthy enough that you don't need to work for a living, I mean, that's great... I'd love to be in that position, and I understand that for some jobs, you've gotta pretend like you are when you aren't. but note that to those of us who aren't, uh, "financially secure," it comes off as bragging in a particularly insensitive way if you pull it off and we believe you are rich, or insincere if we know you have a car payment. I mean, sure if you only work with other people who are super rich, it's different, but be aware that you are usually in mixed company. I personally think that seeing genuine joy about being wealthy is nicer to see than this "oh, money means nothing" - I mean, I want to be rich too, of course, and I can understand that you enjoy your fancy new car or whatever; that's not insulting me, even if I can't afford the car. But saying that there's something wrong with picking a career for the money is insulting me and everyone else who doesn't have a large trust fund.

dc443 7y ago
I think you're overthinking it. I totally get where you're coming from, but overwhelmingly what you wrote makes me feel that you've given up on actually enjoying what you do for work. You should place more value on that, if for no other reason than when you enjoy something, it's a positive feedback loop for improving everything: your own mood, your productivity, your self-improvement motivations, and your compensation.
- lsc 7y ago
  For me, solving technical problems often gives me a great deal of satisfaction. I mean, it is sometimes a real slog, too... nothing is fun all the time... but sometimes the worst slogs come with the greatest satisfaction. and sometimes not! Sometimes you work hard and get nothing. it happens. It's okay to work hard sometimes. It's okay for that to be unpleasant sometimes. Difficult experiences are part of what it is to be a human. I mean, sure, it's impolite to complain all the time, but I would have to be way more desperate than I am to take a job where I always have to pretend to be happy; I have a pretty nice technical individual contributor role, and that's one of the strongest reasons I avoid management when I can, even though, as you point out, if I had better emotional regulation; if I was better able to be happy (or disappointed or angry) on command I would be able to make more money as a manager. (don't get me wrong; I can totally see myself being that desperate. And if I thought I had a reasonable chance of holding down a management job for very long, I'd have to think long and hard on it.) It's more than that, though. Those roles, acting happy all the time feels... inauthentic to me. For that matter, nearly all of the "self improvement through positive thinking" stuff feels inauthentic to me; self-improvement, for me, is accomplished through introspection and work.

by lsc 7y ago

dc443 7y ago

I think you're overthinking it. I totally get where you're coming from, but overwhelmingly what you wrote makes me feel that you've given up on actually enjoying what you do for work. You should place more value on that, if for no other reason than when you enjoy something, it's a positive feedback loop for improving everything: your own mood, your productivity, your self-improvement motivations, and your compensation.

lsc 7y ago
For me, solving technical problems often gives me a great deal of satisfaction. I mean, it is sometimes a real slog, too... nothing is fun all the time... but sometimes the worst slogs come with the greatest satisfaction. and sometimes not! Sometimes you work hard and get nothing. it happens. It's okay to work hard sometimes. It's okay for that to be unpleasant sometimes. Difficult experiences are part of what it is to be a human. I mean, sure, it's impolite to complain all the time, but I would have to be way more desperate than I am to take a job where I always have to pretend to be happy; I have a pretty nice technical individual contributor role, and that's one of the strongest reasons I avoid management when I can, even though, as you point out, if I had better emotional regulation; if I was better able to be happy (or disappointed or angry) on command I would be able to make more money as a manager. (don't get me wrong; I can totally see myself being that desperate. And if I thought I had a reasonable chance of holding down a management job for very long, I'd have to think long and hard on it.) It's more than that, though. Those roles, acting happy all the time feels... inauthentic to me. For that matter, nearly all of the "self improvement through positive thinking" stuff feels inauthentic to me; self-improvement, for me, is accomplished through introspection and work.