4 ms·

Well, no. My point was that conversations are not zero-sum games. You produce intimacy via information exchanges, which you both benefit from, though there will

by zrkrlc 7y ago

Well, no. My point was that conversations are not zero-sum games. You produce intimacy via information exchanges, which you both benefit from, though there will always be an information asymmetry between you and your conversation partner. I know analysing social interactions is seen as a rather, if you will forgive the term, "autistic" (or worse, sociopathic) way of looking at things , but some people do not have the natural capacity for social interactions that the vast majority of the population enjoy. I myself have wondered for years if I lay on the autism spectrum before getting diagnosed with ADHD and so all this I had to learn explicitly from years of observation.

loopz 7y ago
Nothing wrong with being autistic, but it's just one of many reference points and is no more or less valid than others. Analysing too much loses connection with others.
authoritarian 7y ago
>I know analysing social interactions is seen as a rather, if you will forgive the term, "autistic" That may be your perception of autism, but this statement is more akin to using "retarded" derogatorily than actually making a comparison. Autism is categorized by deficits in social interaction and repetitive thoughts or behaviorism. "Analyzing social interactions" is certainly not a standard symptom of autism, and depending on the severity of one's social deficit it may not even be possible for someone on the spectrum to do so without the help of a therapist/doctor/behavioral aid. I discovered I was on the spectrum this year, albeit at a relatively low level, and while I personally analyze social interactions a lot due to anxiety it absolutely shouldn't be seen as "rather autistic" as you say as that is a mischaracterization of autism
ineedasername 7y ago
I don't see anything wrong with analyzing social interactions. I'm not on the spectrum, and I still find value in it. My confusion what at what seemed to me (perhaps incorrectly) as an approach to conversations that tried to min/max against information disclosure. You've clarified that though and it seems much more reasonable, although I'm still not sure why there must be information asymmetry. As an example, I just attended an office holiday party. Myself and a coworker I don't know well had a brief conversation on each other's family visit dynamics during the holiday season. I think we both fairly adequately covered our respective situations, and neither of us could come away thinking, "Wow, he/she knows all about my setup but I still don't know much about theirs". It was pretty equitable.

by zrkrlc 7y ago

loopz 7y ago

Nothing wrong with being autistic, but it's just one of many reference points and is no more or less valid than others. Analysing too much loses connection with others.

authoritarian 7y ago

>I know analysing social interactions is seen as a rather, if you will forgive the term, "autistic" That may be your perception of autism, but this statement is more akin to using "retarded" derogatorily than actually making a comparison. Autism is categorized by deficits in social interaction and repetitive thoughts or behaviorism. "Analyzing social interactions" is certainly not a standard symptom of autism, and depending on the severity of one's social deficit it may not even be possible for someone on the spectrum to do so without the help of a therapist/doctor/behavioral aid. I discovered I was on the spectrum this year, albeit at a relatively low level, and while I personally analyze social interactions a lot due to anxiety it absolutely shouldn't be seen as "rather autistic" as you say as that is a mischaracterization of autism

ineedasername 7y ago

I don't see anything wrong with analyzing social interactions. I'm not on the spectrum, and I still find value in it. My confusion what at what seemed to me (perhaps incorrectly) as an approach to conversations that tried to min/max against information disclosure. You've clarified that though and it seems much more reasonable, although I'm still not sure why there must be information asymmetry. As an example, I just attended an office holiday party. Myself and a coworker I don't know well had a brief conversation on each other's family visit dynamics during the holiday season. I think we both fairly adequately covered our respective situations, and neither of us could come away thinking, "Wow, he/she knows all about my setup but I still don't know much about theirs". It was pretty equitable.