This headline so reminds me of a poem titled "Annonce" ("Want Ad") which Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote A.D. 1811: "Ein Hündchen wird gesucht, das weder murr

This headline so reminds me of a poem titled "Annonce" ("Want Ad") which Johann Wolfgang von Goethe wrote A.D. 1811: "Ein Hündchen wird gesucht, das weder murrt noch beißt, zerbrochene Gläser frißt und Diamanten scheißt." Roughly translates to: "Looking for a doggy which will neither snarl nor bite, broken glass shall be its food and diamonds be its shite."