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It is kind of disturbing to think that your personality and many other traits make you different from other people, and there's nothing you can do about it. It

It is kind of disturbing to think that your personality and many other traits make you different from other people, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's quite disturbing to me.

JacksonGariety 7y ago
Hopefully we are able to use our willpower to bring about personality change over the course of our life.
- blfr 7y ago
  Your genes are at work 24/7/365. How much willpower do you have?
  - rofo1 7y ago
    I have a lot. Whats your point? Are you saying there's no willpower at all or what? There are people with unusual levels of willpower. I am one of them and I know others. It is what it is.
- gherkinnn 7y ago
  Implying our willpower is separate from your genes. Maybe the will to change yourself is encoded in your DNA.
  - JacksonGariety 7y ago
    True. But DNA is also to some degree shaped by the choices we make in life, no?
    - gherkinnn 7y ago
      That’s a question for people who know about epigenetics. But it seems so. Not necessarily our choices alone, but the environment as a whole.
      - rofo1 7y ago
        You are responsible for the choices you make. You can learn new information, and you can adjust your behavior or habits based on that. The new things you learn wouldn't have been inside your DNA/genes.
        gherkinnn 7y ago
        I don’t wholly agree with the first point. I’m not much of a free will guy. Regarding learning new information, surely the type of info you’re susceptible to, and how to act upon these, isn’t all of your choosing.
Tade0 7y ago
I cope by having an unfounded sense of superiority.
dkersten 7y ago
Sure, its kind of disturbing, but that's just life. There's a lot of things that you can't do anything about. I didn't grow up to a rich family and that prevented me from doing a lot of things rich people got to do, for example. I agree that it can be disturbing that traits that you have no control over make you different from others, but its normal and just part of life. Certainly nothing to lose sleep over.
randomidiot666 7y ago
Yes ideally you would be some kind of indistinguishable Borg creature.
gherkinnn 7y ago
I find that notion somewhere between comforting and irrelevant. The difficulty lies in not succumbing to fatalistic complacency. Accepting that one simply is of a heavy physique and not needlessly starving oneself sounds healthy to me. There are plenty of activities for which a heavy frame is desirable. On the other hand, giving up in the face of ones perceived insurmountable genetic makeup serves nothing.
simonh 7y ago
I believe it is possible for some people to change some aspects of their personality, and I have managed to do so. It’s hard to assess something like that objectively, but I’ve hit positive feedback from family members that I have changed over time. I used to get very frustrated and obstructive or confrontational about things, but with effort and self reflection Ive mostly tamed those tendencies. I also remember as a child noticing how adults behaved, and particularly how they treated children, or even other adults, and made a conscious effort to develop the positive behaviours I admired and avoid ones I saw as negative. This has been particularly important in bringing up my own children. Of course the capacity to change may well be something that varies from person to person, I’m sure it does, but I also believe we all have every human capacity to some extent.

It is kind of disturbing to think that your personality and many other traits make you different from other people, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's quite disturbing to me.

JacksonGariety 7y ago

Hopefully we are able to use our willpower to bring about personality change over the course of our life.

blfr 7y ago
Your genes are at work 24/7/365. How much willpower do you have?
- rofo1 7y ago
  I have a lot. Whats your point? Are you saying there's no willpower at all or what? There are people with unusual levels of willpower. I am one of them and I know others. It is what it is.
gherkinnn 7y ago
Implying our willpower is separate from your genes. Maybe the will to change yourself is encoded in your DNA.
- JacksonGariety 7y ago
  True. But DNA is also to some degree shaped by the choices we make in life, no?
  - gherkinnn 7y ago
    That’s a question for people who know about epigenetics. But it seems so. Not necessarily our choices alone, but the environment as a whole.
    - rofo1 7y ago
      You are responsible for the choices you make. You can learn new information, and you can adjust your behavior or habits based on that. The new things you learn wouldn't have been inside your DNA/genes.
      - gherkinnn 7y ago
        I don’t wholly agree with the first point. I’m not much of a free will guy. Regarding learning new information, surely the type of info you’re susceptible to, and how to act upon these, isn’t all of your choosing.

Tade0 7y ago

I cope by having an unfounded sense of superiority.

dkersten 7y ago

Sure, its kind of disturbing, but that's just life. There's a lot of things that you can't do anything about. I didn't grow up to a rich family and that prevented me from doing a lot of things rich people got to do, for example. I agree that it can be disturbing that traits that you have no control over make you different from others, but its normal and just part of life. Certainly nothing to lose sleep over.

randomidiot666 7y ago

Yes ideally you would be some kind of indistinguishable Borg creature.

gherkinnn 7y ago

I find that notion somewhere between comforting and irrelevant. The difficulty lies in not succumbing to fatalistic complacency. Accepting that one simply is of a heavy physique and not needlessly starving oneself sounds healthy to me. There are plenty of activities for which a heavy frame is desirable. On the other hand, giving up in the face of ones perceived insurmountable genetic makeup serves nothing.

simonh 7y ago

I believe it is possible for some people to change some aspects of their personality, and I have managed to do so. It’s hard to assess something like that objectively, but I’ve hit positive feedback from family members that I have changed over time. I used to get very frustrated and obstructive or confrontational about things, but with effort and self reflection Ive mostly tamed those tendencies. I also remember as a child noticing how adults behaved, and particularly how they treated children, or even other adults, and made a conscious effort to develop the positive behaviours I admired and avoid ones I saw as negative. This has been particularly important in bringing up my own children. Of course the capacity to change may well be something that varies from person to person, I’m sure it does, but I also believe we all have every human capacity to some extent.