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A disturbing piece for HN parents about the coming of age for children. Even though you know the Internet and technology has all progressed since we were kids,

A disturbing piece for HN parents about the coming of age for children. Even though you know the Internet and technology has all progressed since we were kids, it is still disturbing nonetheless. The hacking solution to help our youth is unlikely to come from 0's and 1's, but a hacker that could figure out how to address this--with 0's and 1's or otherwise--would be rewarded with more than gold and silver, they would be a hero. It would be too much for a single person to figure out or a team for that matter. We could easily say that the solution is parenting, but I believe in many cases that isn't enough. Our current social dynamic because of the Internet and technology combined is changing everything from bullying to coming of age to social skills and the problems have been coming to a head for years but only recently receiving so much of the spotlight, leaving it anyones guess what the future repercussions could be.

gabrielroth 16y ago
The first step toward a 'hacking solution' would be to define the problem clearly. What are you trying to solve?
- mynameishere 16y ago
  The problem is that everything you do on the internet will haunt you forever, even after your death, and the kids don't realize this.
  - maushu 16y ago
    The problem here is not the internet. I mean, this is the same as if a kid found a gun and shoot their best friend while playing, and this happened way before internet existed.
    - pyre 16y ago
      So the solution is to lock away the computers in the gun cabinet?
      - maushu 16y ago
        That doesn't work so well either. :) The solution is teaching the kids, not hide/lock away the problem.
steveklabnik 16y ago
Knowing things is better than not knowing things. Maybe it's good that I don't want to have children.
lhnz 16y ago
I don't consider this a problem. The internet has changed our social dynamic, sure. It's given people anonymity, it's enabled them to be either exceptionally private or to effectively broadcast themselves (and sometimes they lose control over this, if they are not careful: a problem definitely heightened by the internet). It's removed entry barriers to conversation and enabled people to connect to others a lot easier. In my mind this has just meant that the value of (online) communication has decreased. This might have a few effects. I know it makes people feel safer about exploring their sexuality (instead of having to find somebody they trust, they can instead experiment relatively safely with nobody watching them and just cut off the other person if they've had enough.) I guess this makes people act more cloak and dagger about the people they talk to, but that's surely just how life is when you're young and at school? Maybe people will trust each other less now. This isn't bad; it'll just make those real trust-based relationships that you find so much more meaningful. And, of course, pornography can make us a little more sexually violent but assuming we're not raping people is that really such a bad thing... I think as long as it doesn't all become a game and people learn to love each other it'll all be okay.
- Unseelie 16y ago
  How is the fact that our children (ok, my young siblings) are coming up in a world where bullying happens in a field vastly different from the playground not a problem? I certainly can't pass on my experience of how to deal with cyber bullies, I don't have any(oh, but flamewars I understand), and I suspect that the entire newest generation is going to have to invent those protocols themselves. That's horribly unfortunate. When children kill themselves because of it, that's horrifying.
  - lhnz 16y ago
    Bullying isn't solved on the playground. At least online the perpetrators document their aggression. Not that I believe that will solve anything, thought it might be fun to name-and-shame them. Also, on the playground a bully will enjoy power by oppressing others in full view of their classmates. Authority and fear go hand in hand. Anonymity and the internet might make it easier to bully others but it also removes the pay-off. Somebody that bullies others online is wasting their time. If you do it, it's not a stretch for somebody else to point out that you're a bit of a 'loser'. It's sad if children kill themselves because of this though. I've heard awful stories of people pretending to be a girlfriend/boyfriend, gaining trust and then humiliating the other person. You would have to be a little naive to fall for that but I don't think that's a lesson anybody should ever have to learn. However, I think that's an exception, kids will learn to not trust so easily in the virtual environment and to carefully control their virtual image.

gabrielroth 16y ago

The first step toward a 'hacking solution' would be to define the problem clearly. What are you trying to solve?

mynameishere 16y ago
The problem is that everything you do on the internet will haunt you forever, even after your death, and the kids don't realize this.
- maushu 16y ago
  The problem here is not the internet. I mean, this is the same as if a kid found a gun and shoot their best friend while playing, and this happened way before internet existed.
  - pyre 16y ago
    So the solution is to lock away the computers in the gun cabinet?
    - maushu 16y ago
      That doesn't work so well either. :) The solution is teaching the kids, not hide/lock away the problem.

steveklabnik 16y ago

Knowing things is better than not knowing things. Maybe it's good that I don't want to have children.

lhnz 16y ago

I don't consider this a problem. The internet has changed our social dynamic, sure. It's given people anonymity, it's enabled them to be either exceptionally private or to effectively broadcast themselves (and sometimes they lose control over this, if they are not careful: a problem definitely heightened by the internet). It's removed entry barriers to conversation and enabled people to connect to others a lot easier. In my mind this has just meant that the value of (online) communication has decreased. This might have a few effects. I know it makes people feel safer about exploring their sexuality (instead of having to find somebody they trust, they can instead experiment relatively safely with nobody watching them and just cut off the other person if they've had enough.) I guess this makes people act more cloak and dagger about the people they talk to, but that's surely just how life is when you're young and at school? Maybe people will trust each other less now. This isn't bad; it'll just make those real trust-based relationships that you find so much more meaningful. And, of course, pornography can make us a little more sexually violent but assuming we're not raping people is that really such a bad thing... I think as long as it doesn't all become a game and people learn to love each other it'll all be okay.

Unseelie 16y ago
How is the fact that our children (ok, my young siblings) are coming up in a world where bullying happens in a field vastly different from the playground not a problem? I certainly can't pass on my experience of how to deal with cyber bullies, I don't have any(oh, but flamewars I understand), and I suspect that the entire newest generation is going to have to invent those protocols themselves. That's horribly unfortunate. When children kill themselves because of it, that's horrifying.
- lhnz 16y ago
  Bullying isn't solved on the playground. At least online the perpetrators document their aggression. Not that I believe that will solve anything, thought it might be fun to name-and-shame them. Also, on the playground a bully will enjoy power by oppressing others in full view of their classmates. Authority and fear go hand in hand. Anonymity and the internet might make it easier to bully others but it also removes the pay-off. Somebody that bullies others online is wasting their time. If you do it, it's not a stretch for somebody else to point out that you're a bit of a 'loser'. It's sad if children kill themselves because of this though. I've heard awful stories of people pretending to be a girlfriend/boyfriend, gaining trust and then humiliating the other person. You would have to be a little naive to fall for that but I don't think that's a lesson anybody should ever have to learn. However, I think that's an exception, kids will learn to not trust so easily in the virtual environment and to carefully control their virtual image.