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I've found it subtly unnerving and in some way boring how women are beginning to look exactly the same, it's almost like something of comparable virality to the

I've found it subtly unnerving and in some way boring how women are beginning to look exactly the same, it's almost like something of comparable virality to the whole flat minimal UI design meme now exists in fashion.

nemo1618 7y ago
To grossly generalize: Differentiation does not benefit females in the way it benefits males. Being "average" is a safe mating strategy for females, but not for males.
- faissaloo 7y ago
  I watched this great video on it from a while back where BoyInABand goes through an OkCupid study that actually says the complete opposite (unfortunately it seems like most of OkCupid's studies just vanished from the internet at some point): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLNwa_hoz4w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLNwa_hoz4w
  - smogcutter 7y ago
    That okcupid stats blog was great, here’s a thread on reddit where someone archived them: https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_archives/ https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_... To sum up for parent: in okcupid’s data, women considered attractive but not super hot got fewer messages than women who were less conventionally attractive but had more polarizing photos. In other words for most women it’s a better strategy to play up a look/feature that’s unique but potentially alienating than it is to be generically attractive.
    - greggman2 7y ago
      I loved reading OkCupid's Blog but it rarely matched my experience with the site and the conclusions they reached almost always had other plausible explanations.
    - jquery 7y ago
      That’s one explanation. Another possibility is a more polarizing face makes some guys feel like they have a better chance. This is total speculation, of course, just offering up another way to explain the data. Could be a mix of both explanations.
      - smogcutter 7y ago
        I went back and read the post, and I remembered it wrong. The effect is there for women with the same overall attractiveness rating, which is a stronger version than I originally posted. > Another possibility is a more polarizing face makes some guys feel like they have a better chance. This explains why guys would send messages, but not why they would rate pics highly. It’s a better fit for why guys would message girls with lower ratings, not girls with high ratings and high std. dev. The trick in their version is it’s not just “I think other guys aren’t into her”, it’s “I think other guys aren’t into her, but I am.” But yeah, being a story that explains the data doesn’t make it true, and all sorts of stuff could be going on. And like the other poster pointed out their analysis is fun but not necessarily ironclad. For my part I figure there’s a ton of cultural signaling going on in dating pics that they can’t really account for.
    - im3w1l 7y ago
      Polarizing being good for dating doesn't necessarily mean it's good for influencers. In dating you want one person to like you a lot. So if you make the majority dislike a bit and the minority like you more that's great. But in influencing you want a lot of people to like you a little.
- woodruffw 7y ago
  The existence of persistent cultural tropes around “not being like the other girls” is at least one piece of evidence to the contrary.
  - jetrink 7y ago
    I think that comes from misogynistic stereotypes concerning personality traits. "Women, ugh, they're all so x. Not you though, you're different."
    - silveroriole 7y ago
      Funnily enough I only ever see women using the phrase to shit on other women for not staying in line. Woman actually likes tech/cars/whatever and doesn’t like makeup and fashion? Ugh, she thinks she’s “not like other girls”, she’s looking down on us, she’s just trying to impress men.
turc1656 7y ago
That's a helluva analogy. But I like it. More to the overall point, I find it incredibly ironic that while the world is constantly talking about diversity, uniqueness, and all those wonderful things, everyone is simultaneously trying to dress the same and literally look alike.
- filoleg 7y ago
  >everyone is simultaneously trying to dress the same and literally look alike I think it is a bit more complicated than that due to one small detail you omitted, but still just ironic. In reality, they are all trying to look "different", but "different" in the exact same way, so they all end up looking the same.

nemo1618 7y ago

To grossly generalize: Differentiation does not benefit females in the way it benefits males. Being "average" is a safe mating strategy for females, but not for males.

faissaloo 7y ago
I watched this great video on it from a while back where BoyInABand goes through an OkCupid study that actually says the complete opposite (unfortunately it seems like most of OkCupid's studies just vanished from the internet at some point): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLNwa_hoz4w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLNwa_hoz4w
- smogcutter 7y ago
  That okcupid stats blog was great, here’s a thread on reddit where someone archived them: https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_archives/ https://www.reddit.com/r/gwern/comments/aapn1l/okcupid_blog_... To sum up for parent: in okcupid’s data, women considered attractive but not super hot got fewer messages than women who were less conventionally attractive but had more polarizing photos. In other words for most women it’s a better strategy to play up a look/feature that’s unique but potentially alienating than it is to be generically attractive.
  - greggman2 7y ago
    I loved reading OkCupid's Blog but it rarely matched my experience with the site and the conclusions they reached almost always had other plausible explanations.
  - jquery 7y ago
    That’s one explanation. Another possibility is a more polarizing face makes some guys feel like they have a better chance. This is total speculation, of course, just offering up another way to explain the data. Could be a mix of both explanations.
    - smogcutter 7y ago
      I went back and read the post, and I remembered it wrong. The effect is there for women with the same overall attractiveness rating, which is a stronger version than I originally posted. > Another possibility is a more polarizing face makes some guys feel like they have a better chance. This explains why guys would send messages, but not why they would rate pics highly. It’s a better fit for why guys would message girls with lower ratings, not girls with high ratings and high std. dev. The trick in their version is it’s not just “I think other guys aren’t into her”, it’s “I think other guys aren’t into her, but I am.” But yeah, being a story that explains the data doesn’t make it true, and all sorts of stuff could be going on. And like the other poster pointed out their analysis is fun but not necessarily ironclad. For my part I figure there’s a ton of cultural signaling going on in dating pics that they can’t really account for.
  - im3w1l 7y ago
    Polarizing being good for dating doesn't necessarily mean it's good for influencers. In dating you want one person to like you a lot. So if you make the majority dislike a bit and the minority like you more that's great. But in influencing you want a lot of people to like you a little.
woodruffw 7y ago
The existence of persistent cultural tropes around “not being like the other girls” is at least one piece of evidence to the contrary.
- jetrink 7y ago
  I think that comes from misogynistic stereotypes concerning personality traits. "Women, ugh, they're all so x. Not you though, you're different."
  - silveroriole 7y ago
    Funnily enough I only ever see women using the phrase to shit on other women for not staying in line. Woman actually likes tech/cars/whatever and doesn’t like makeup and fashion? Ugh, she thinks she’s “not like other girls”, she’s looking down on us, she’s just trying to impress men.

turc1656 7y ago

That's a helluva analogy. But I like it. More to the overall point, I find it incredibly ironic that while the world is constantly talking about diversity, uniqueness, and all those wonderful things, everyone is simultaneously trying to dress the same and literally look alike.

filoleg 7y ago
>everyone is simultaneously trying to dress the same and literally look alike I think it is a bit more complicated than that due to one small detail you omitted, but still just ironic. In reality, they are all trying to look "different", but "different" in the exact same way, so they all end up looking the same.