4 ms·

Unpopular opinion - but I think farming out the majority of the raising of children to daycares is a bad idea in the long term. Obviously some times you don't h

by umvi 7y ago

Unpopular opinion - but I think farming out the majority of the raising of children to daycares is a bad idea in the long term. Obviously some times you don't have a choice, but I think stay-at-home moms (or dads) are extremely valuable for the development of the child and potentially worth more than any monetary gains to be had from dual-income. Yeah, you might not be able to afford a nice house or car as quickly, but you get absolute control over how much love, attention, and correction your developing kids receive.

Digory 7y ago
The person who gets "Uber, but for Parenting, not cars" right will make a fortune. The solutions in the article are "Medicaid, but for Parents, not doctors." What we need is "a culture with jobs that will pay enough to support two adults and their children, so that care of children, family, and the community is an expected part of every adult relationship."
- paulcole 7y ago
  I think this is the killer untapped market for Uber. Just book a really long Uber ride and let your kid spend 8 hours in the car while you’re working. Driver can still pick up other passengers and your kid can interact with them for enrichment. Doesn’t have to be a complete waste of time. When the kid is old enough, give them a raspberry pi and let them learn to code or something while they’re riding around. Driver can stop at Whole Foods for Soylent or whatever else the kid may want to eat/drink.
  - pnutjam 7y ago
    I hope this is satire.
- bonoboTP 7y ago
  It would probably end up in way too many lawsuits from all towards all directions and across.
savingGrace 7y ago
Exactly. This offends so many people to even bring it up, but I agree 100%. Our children are the most precious people in our lives, but we're willing to give them the worst of our time. If both parents are working, they come home at the end of the day too exhausted to invest in their children. Why are the kids getting the left-overs? Does that seem fair to them?
simonsarris 7y ago
Studying Quebec's universal daycare launched in 1997 (with slogan "Children at the heart of our choice"), Jon Gruber @MIT and colleagues found... they didn't fare so well. Negative effects especially for boys and aggressive kids. https://ifstudies.org/blog/measuring-the-long-term-effects-of-early-extensive-day-care https://ifstudies.org/blog/measuring-the-long-term-effects-o... It's weird to me the goal would be "make sure everyone has daycare" instead of "make sure people can raise their children". What would taking the same amount of money and using it as a direct cash transfer subsidy look like?
pfranz 7y ago
I think those are two separate ideas. I agree we shouldn't have a culture of "farming out" childrearing, but I disagree offering childcare options has to encourage that. I think in any case, we need work environments more sensitive to work/life balance. A lot of parents who chose to stay at home described having multiple young kids as chaos and "just trying to survive." I also get, "It's just so nice to talk to adults." Higher end communities offer a lot of options for temporary childcare; daycare programs that are 2-3 hours, gyms, and groceries offering childcare while you're there that seem specifically focused on stay at home parents. Those aren't options for most people. Just an hour or two break can really help recharge, or just plan appointments or outings. If you're lucky enough that they sleep through the night or nap, you're still tethered to the house. I really think doing things outside of a relationship helps make parenting more fruitful, but since being a parent is 24/7 you just don't have options unless you have a strong network and are willing to ask/pay for help.
spookthesunset 7y ago
Not everybody has the choice to go single-income--many couples need two incomes to survive at all. Also there are single-parent households that have zero choice in the matter as well.
AYBABTME 7y ago
I'm not sure that having a child growing up in an isolated environment, interacting with mostly one person, is good or healthy. I have a hunch that exposure to many people, situations and environments is better for the child, as long as the overall exposure is positive. Not only that, but the isolation of the caregiver probably makes the caregiver less fit (depression, imagination-killing-routine) to provide quality education. In that lense, I think there's solid arguments for why "farming out" might be better for everyone, child and parents.
- zionic 7y ago
  Absolutely, it would go a long way towards reducing the population's sense of individualism and better prepare the next crop of corporate drones. We should get started at once!
- hereme888 7y ago
  I don't think the argument had anything to do with isolation. Your reply sounds stereotypical. Stay-at-home parents - and similarly, home-schooled children - usually have a richer and more vibrant community than schooled children and the average 9-5 working parent. I've met hundreds, and it always strikes me as a more ideal life, because it's steeped in strong community. Of course there are the isolation exceptions that make headlines in news media.
pnutjam 7y ago
If America embraced a proper work and life balance, we could have both. Not all Mom's and Dad's want to stay home, and afew hours of quality daycare could be beneficial to most kids. I say this as a parent with 6 kids and a wife who has cared for all of them.

by umvi 7y ago

Digory 7y ago

The person who gets "Uber, but for Parenting, not cars" right will make a fortune. The solutions in the article are "Medicaid, but for Parents, not doctors." What we need is "a culture with jobs that will pay enough to support two adults and their children, so that care of children, family, and the community is an expected part of every adult relationship."

paulcole 7y ago
I think this is the killer untapped market for Uber. Just book a really long Uber ride and let your kid spend 8 hours in the car while you’re working. Driver can still pick up other passengers and your kid can interact with them for enrichment. Doesn’t have to be a complete waste of time. When the kid is old enough, give them a raspberry pi and let them learn to code or something while they’re riding around. Driver can stop at Whole Foods for Soylent or whatever else the kid may want to eat/drink.
- pnutjam 7y ago
  I hope this is satire.
bonoboTP 7y ago
It would probably end up in way too many lawsuits from all towards all directions and across.

savingGrace 7y ago

Exactly. This offends so many people to even bring it up, but I agree 100%. Our children are the most precious people in our lives, but we're willing to give them the worst of our time. If both parents are working, they come home at the end of the day too exhausted to invest in their children. Why are the kids getting the left-overs? Does that seem fair to them?

simonsarris 7y ago

Studying Quebec's universal daycare launched in 1997 (with slogan "Children at the heart of our choice"), Jon Gruber @MIT and colleagues found... they didn't fare so well. Negative effects especially for boys and aggressive kids. https://ifstudies.org/blog/measuring-the-long-term-effects-of-early-extensive-day-care https://ifstudies.org/blog/measuring-the-long-term-effects-o... It's weird to me the goal would be "make sure everyone has daycare" instead of "make sure people can raise their children". What would taking the same amount of money and using it as a direct cash transfer subsidy look like?

pfranz 7y ago

I think those are two separate ideas. I agree we shouldn't have a culture of "farming out" childrearing, but I disagree offering childcare options has to encourage that. I think in any case, we need work environments more sensitive to work/life balance. A lot of parents who chose to stay at home described having multiple young kids as chaos and "just trying to survive." I also get, "It's just so nice to talk to adults." Higher end communities offer a lot of options for temporary childcare; daycare programs that are 2-3 hours, gyms, and groceries offering childcare while you're there that seem specifically focused on stay at home parents. Those aren't options for most people. Just an hour or two break can really help recharge, or just plan appointments or outings. If you're lucky enough that they sleep through the night or nap, you're still tethered to the house. I really think doing things outside of a relationship helps make parenting more fruitful, but since being a parent is 24/7 you just don't have options unless you have a strong network and are willing to ask/pay for help.

spookthesunset 7y ago

Not everybody has the choice to go single-income--many couples need two incomes to survive at all. Also there are single-parent households that have zero choice in the matter as well.

AYBABTME 7y ago

I'm not sure that having a child growing up in an isolated environment, interacting with mostly one person, is good or healthy. I have a hunch that exposure to many people, situations and environments is better for the child, as long as the overall exposure is positive. Not only that, but the isolation of the caregiver probably makes the caregiver less fit (depression, imagination-killing-routine) to provide quality education. In that lense, I think there's solid arguments for why "farming out" might be better for everyone, child and parents.

zionic 7y ago
Absolutely, it would go a long way towards reducing the population's sense of individualism and better prepare the next crop of corporate drones. We should get started at once!
hereme888 7y ago
I don't think the argument had anything to do with isolation. Your reply sounds stereotypical. Stay-at-home parents - and similarly, home-schooled children - usually have a richer and more vibrant community than schooled children and the average 9-5 working parent. I've met hundreds, and it always strikes me as a more ideal life, because it's steeped in strong community. Of course there are the isolation exceptions that make headlines in news media.

pnutjam 7y ago

If America embraced a proper work and life balance, we could have both. Not all Mom's and Dad's want to stay home, and afew hours of quality daycare could be beneficial to most kids. I say this as a parent with 6 kids and a wife who has cared for all of them.