3 ms·

> I would be very careful about making that large a generalization (that all else being equal, women would prefer to stay home over working). Especially within

by davidw 7y ago

> I would be very careful about making that large a generalization (that all else being equal, women would prefer to stay home over working). Especially within earshot of my wife. Stuff like that pisses her off to no end, with good reason. She's smart and accomplished and very much enjoys the challenges of a professional career.

jariel 7y ago
" Stuff like that pisses her off to no end, with good reason. She's smart and accomplished and very much enjoys the challenges of a professional career." No, it's not with 'good reason'. If your wife is 'smart' as you say, then she (and you) will recognise that generalisations having nothing to do with your particular situation. That women may be inclined to want to 'stay home' more than not, has nothing to do with the obvious fact that many women (such as your wife) 'want a career'. That your wife is 'pissed off to no end' to hear what might be actual fact it actually the problem with society. You're afraid to talk about it, as is everyone in the press because it 'upsets some women' to hear some genralizations which may be true. It's actually very problematic that your wife is 'pissed off to no end' when she hears data that might not be consistent with her lifestyle - because it closes down needed conversation. Second - your statement "she's smart and accomplished" is arguably sexist and denigrating to the very 'smart and accomplished' women who chose not to have a career. My belief is that most women do want some kind of meaningful work, until the time they want to have children, in which case things change. At this time, my bet would be most (definitely not all) want to focus on the kids, but have 'some kind of option' that keeps them professionally engaged to the world, but with 'maximum flexibility'. These choices may not be 'careers' in the sense we think of them. Example: women studies years to become licensed acupuncturist, works hard to set up practice and community, then settles down with partner, working with a limited number of clients while raising young children. The work requires intelligence, it's 'helping' (or at least people think it is), it's social, it's independent, it's 'green', it's related to the community etc., and it's not exactly high stress / corporate / careerism. Given an array of life choices for women - something like this example I believe would be highly popular. In my own life, if you replace 'acupuncturist' with 'therapist', 'designer', 'homeopath', 'makeup consultant', 'massage therapist' it would cover a good many number of the women that I know. Of course it has nothing to do with the other good number of women that I know who are engaged in more or less professional career paths.

by davidw 7y ago

jariel 7y ago

" Stuff like that pisses her off to no end, with good reason. She's smart and accomplished and very much enjoys the challenges of a professional career." No, it's not with 'good reason'. If your wife is 'smart' as you say, then she (and you) will recognise that generalisations having nothing to do with your particular situation. That women may be inclined to want to 'stay home' more than not, has nothing to do with the obvious fact that many women (such as your wife) 'want a career'. That your wife is 'pissed off to no end' to hear what might be actual fact it actually the problem with society. You're afraid to talk about it, as is everyone in the press because it 'upsets some women' to hear some genralizations which may be true. It's actually very problematic that your wife is 'pissed off to no end' when she hears data that might not be consistent with her lifestyle - because it closes down needed conversation. Second - your statement "she's smart and accomplished" is arguably sexist and denigrating to the very 'smart and accomplished' women who chose not to have a career. My belief is that most women do want some kind of meaningful work, until the time they want to have children, in which case things change. At this time, my bet would be most (definitely not all) want to focus on the kids, but have 'some kind of option' that keeps them professionally engaged to the world, but with 'maximum flexibility'. These choices may not be 'careers' in the sense we think of them. Example: women studies years to become licensed acupuncturist, works hard to set up practice and community, then settles down with partner, working with a limited number of clients while raising young children. The work requires intelligence, it's 'helping' (or at least people think it is), it's social, it's independent, it's 'green', it's related to the community etc., and it's not exactly high stress / corporate / careerism. Given an array of life choices for women - something like this example I believe would be highly popular. In my own life, if you replace 'acupuncturist' with 'therapist', 'designer', 'homeopath', 'makeup consultant', 'massage therapist' it would cover a good many number of the women that I know. Of course it has nothing to do with the other good number of women that I know who are engaged in more or less professional career paths.