Shared trauma, childhood upbringing, and many other factors have a much higher correlation to successful relationships than merely attraction. Attachment Theor

Shared trauma, childhood upbringing, and many other factors have a much higher correlation to successful relationships than merely attraction. Attachment Theory attempts to explain why certain relationships are better than others which is dependent on how secure or insecure each partner is with regard to attachment. For example, if both parties are classified as having “secure attachment”, they may feel distress when their partner leaves them for say a long work trip but they’re able to compose themselves and control those worries. That sort of relationship would be said to have a higher chance of survival than two partners who are both “anxious-ambivalent attached” because in this case, the parties would instead have strong fear or worry of rejection by their partner, higher dependency on each other, and less likely to be comfortable being alone. None of those elements rest solely on the basis of attraction. This type of behavior stems from being a witness to conflicting figures in their life (e.g. divorced parents, unsafe family habitat, etc.)