4 ms·

> There are plenty of disabled men in functional relationships That would be such an unacceptable response in any other context ( eg: there are plenty of women

> There are plenty of disabled men in functional relationships That would be such an unacceptable response in any other context ( eg: there are plenty of women who are CEOs, there are plenty of <minority> millionaires. Please lose the victim angle). But somehow such cruelty is acceptable towards "incel" men. I personally know someone who is an wheelchair and was abandoned by their SO ( can't really blame her ) after his condition and has ever since been unable to find someone.

frostburg 7y ago
Yes, and former house speaker Newt Gingrich famously left his dying wife while branding the GOP as the party of family values, for which everyone should in fact blame him. Anecdotes are useless, do you have any data that suggests that women are more likely than men to leave a partner due to illness?
- kareninoverseas 7y ago
  These are all good points but they feel very insensitive in tone given that OP has shared something personal; I'm not sure if you realise what you're doing
  - coldtea 7y ago
    When something personal is shared, it becomes something to discuss. Especially when its a larger observation concerning what others, not the person, do.
- dominotw 7y ago
  > Anecdotes are useless, do you have any data you mean excellent data backed, well laid-out argument like this ? > There are plenty of disabled men in functional relatioships
- nabnob 7y ago
  Men are more likely to leave their wives due to illness than women are - https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to-leave-spouse-with-cancer/ https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to...
majos 7y ago
Anecdote in the opposite direction: Varlam Shalamov was a Russian writer who spent over a decade in various Gulags and then wrote many semi-autobiographical stories about them. In one he observed that he saw many wives join their husbands in the camp after the husband was sentenced, even though the wife could remain free, but that he never saw a husband do the same. I don't know what to make of that anecdote. Maybe it means nothing. But it has stuck in my mind ever since I read it.
- Mediterraneo10 7y ago
  The women joining their husbands could serve as a survival stategy for the women. If you were a member of a family of the intelligentsia, and your husband was arrested, it was likely just a matter of time before they arrested you, too. Leaving Moscow or Saint-Petersburg for that kind of voluntary internal exile was thus a way for women to escape the notice of the authorities and keep their own records clean.
  - majos 7y ago
    Makes sense. But why wouldn’t currently-free husbands do the same?
coldtea 7y ago
>I personally know someone who is an wheelchair and was abandoned by their SO ( can't really blame her ) after his condition and has ever since been unable to find someone. Yeah, so? And I know people who stick to their spouses.
- dominotw 7y ago
  > And I know people who stick to their spouses. GP already said that? not quite sure what point ur trying to make > plenty of disabled men in functional relatioships

frostburg 7y ago

Yes, and former house speaker Newt Gingrich famously left his dying wife while branding the GOP as the party of family values, for which everyone should in fact blame him. Anecdotes are useless, do you have any data that suggests that women are more likely than men to leave a partner due to illness?

kareninoverseas 7y ago
These are all good points but they feel very insensitive in tone given that OP has shared something personal; I'm not sure if you realise what you're doing
- coldtea 7y ago
  When something personal is shared, it becomes something to discuss. Especially when its a larger observation concerning what others, not the person, do.
dominotw 7y ago
> Anecdotes are useless, do you have any data you mean excellent data backed, well laid-out argument like this ? > There are plenty of disabled men in functional relatioships
nabnob 7y ago
Men are more likely to leave their wives due to illness than women are - https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to-leave-spouse-with-cancer/ https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to...

majos 7y ago

Anecdote in the opposite direction: Varlam Shalamov was a Russian writer who spent over a decade in various Gulags and then wrote many semi-autobiographical stories about them. In one he observed that he saw many wives join their husbands in the camp after the husband was sentenced, even though the wife could remain free, but that he never saw a husband do the same. I don't know what to make of that anecdote. Maybe it means nothing. But it has stuck in my mind ever since I read it.

Mediterraneo10 7y ago
The women joining their husbands could serve as a survival stategy for the women. If you were a member of a family of the intelligentsia, and your husband was arrested, it was likely just a matter of time before they arrested you, too. Leaving Moscow or Saint-Petersburg for that kind of voluntary internal exile was thus a way for women to escape the notice of the authorities and keep their own records clean.
- majos 7y ago
  Makes sense. But why wouldn’t currently-free husbands do the same?

coldtea 7y ago

>I personally know someone who is an wheelchair and was abandoned by their SO ( can't really blame her ) after his condition and has ever since been unable to find someone. Yeah, so? And I know people who stick to their spouses.

dominotw 7y ago
> And I know people who stick to their spouses. GP already said that? not quite sure what point ur trying to make > plenty of disabled men in functional relatioships