we can all make Carnegie Hall with minimal practice Well... sure. We can, right? Step one: Phone Carnegie Hall. Ask them how much it costs to rent the place f

we can all make Carnegie Hall with minimal practice Well... sure. We can, right? Step one: Phone Carnegie Hall. Ask them how much it costs to rent the place for a while. They do that, as attested by this rentals page: http://www.carnegiehall.org/article/the_basics/art_hall_rentals.html http://www.carnegiehall.org/article/the_basics/art_hall_rent... It is probably quite a lot, but it may be less than you think. Step two: Find some musicians with actual talent to fill out your program at the Hall. Hint: Classical music students are not rich. And they love to perform. And they're astonishingly talented. Better idea: There are a bunch of college a-capella groups. There are a bunch of high school music groups. All those folks might love to perform at Carnegie Hall. Especially if it's an event with a bunch of other groups. And their parents might love to come. And their friends. Step three: Schedule your concert. Charge enough admission to cover the cost of the hall and whatever you have to pay your musicians. Donate any leftover money to a charity. Preferably one with lots of supporters who want to come and fill out your audience at Carnegie Hall. Step four: Come up with something you can play during your more-than-slightly-comedic opening act. I'm a banjo player, so naturally I suggest the banjo. It sounds cheerful and three chords will get you through a lot of folk repertoire. Fallback position: The kazoo. (But don't overstay your welcome. The joke will get old very fast.) And you're on! What have we all learned from this Ferris-esque exercise? A) Being a concert promoter is not, in fact, rocket science. (Being a consistently profitable concert promoter is a different matter. But that isn't our necessarily our goal, is it?) B) Oops, by "make Carnegie Hall" we didn't actually mean "stand on stage at Carnegie Hall and play an instrument in a way which entertains hundreds of people". Not just that. No, we meant something much more intangible and ineffable and... well, unobtainable. We want to Arrive, whatever that means. What does that mean? Perhaps we should think about that. And what of all the people who have made it to Carnegie Hall, many times, to public acclaim, but still have found themselves unsatisfied or even terrified? (Did you know that Vladimir Horowitz retired from live performance at the height of his career because of debilitating stage fright?)