3 ms·

> My mother has worked at the same minimum-wage food joint for almost eight years. She tells me it's because she's "comfortable" and friends with everyone there

> My mother has worked at the same minimum-wage food joint for almost eight years. She tells me it's because she's "comfortable" and friends with everyone there. Personally, I think it affords her the time and lack of responsibility needed in order to engage in non-moderated drug use. This was certainly the reason she was usually unemployed and unable to provide the most basic resources for me as a child. If I bring up this or her other time-sucking addictions such as mobile gaming / simulated gambling, she becomes very defensi a lot of society's problems come from people in power and/or wealth projecting their anecdotal, perhaps personally bitter experiences (like yours with your mother) onto everyone that isn't making a healthy wage. It's over 40 million people, we are not all like your mother.

d-d 7y ago
Success is a powerful drug that can cause very convincing delusions.
soulofmischief 7y ago
I hope I don't come across as projecting. I am just sharing my own experience in poverty. I am still not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination and I have no support network. Obviously everyone is different. This is why I asked for other points of view for a better sample size.
- oarsinsync 7y ago
  I come from a poor family. My parents made a point of never spending any more than the bare minimum amount of money on me, and both had to work full time jobs. I would make my own way home from school every day from the age of 7. I would make my own way to school from the age of 11. School was a 90min bus ride one way, or a 30 min drive (60 min round trip, x2 for start+end of day). That doesn't change that I had both parents and teachers who cared about me, educated me, disciplined me, and enabled me to succeed. > As someone who grew up in relatively abject poverty, most of the positive things in my life have only come from within, due to my determination to succeed despite numerous setbacks. There is nothing about my success in my adult life that has only come from within. Even my determination isn't mine and mine alone. Everything about my success is down to the opportunities that were afforded to me, to enable me to have that determination and outlook. My parents, my teachers, and my peers throughout my upbringing and adult life have all played a part. Nobody exists in a vacuum. I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. I expect the vast majority of commentators on this board have had similarly privileged lives. The people stuck (either by 'choice' or by 'circumstance') most likely have not. At the risk of sounding like a <insert pejorative du jour here>, check your privilege, appreciate it for what it is, and try not to look down on those that didn't have the same opportunities that you did.
  - soulofmischief 7y ago
    Nobody exists in a vacuum. You're arguing a strawman. You are introducing absolutes into a conversation which was purposefully framed as fluid. For example, I said most of the positive things. Your post is built upon the premise that I believe all positive things in my life came only from within, however you said the word only, not me. I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. That's great... almost comes off as bragging, but okay... check your privilege, appreciate it for what it is, and try not to look down on those that didn't have the same opportunities that you did. ...Seriously? You are literally coming from a place of higher privilege and looking down on me. You are projecting your own fortune onto me and consequently expecting the same attitude. I have not had such fortune as you, in fact most people haven't. I don't need to check my privilege, I am aware of everything I have and wake up every day thankful I don't live in a place like Saudi Arabia. But we aren't talking about Saudi Arabia. We are talking about America, and our conversation about privilege is relative to America. And relative to America, I have lived in abject poverty for most of my life.
    - oarsinsync 7y ago
      Apologies, I misread your statement, and my response was overly broad. This is my mistake. I may also have not been sufficiently clear in my messaging. I am talking from the perspective of someone born and raised in a "first world" western developed democracy similar in many ways to the USA (in this instance, the UK). > I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. The intent here is to drive the point that the support I have received is not financial, and while coming from a financially wealthy family is hugely advantageous to future financial success, there are many other variables in play that are not financial. When I talk about the support I have, I am recognising the time and effort other people have given me. Having good parents isn't a right. It's entirely luck of the draw. The same largely applies to your teachers. It really shouldn't, but that's what the situation looks like today. If you're in a good school district, your chances of success are significantly better than if you're not. I'm not talking about Saudi Arabia, I'm talking about being immensely grateful that not only were my parents incredible, hard working people, who did the best they could with what little they had; and that my teachers, overworked and underpaid, never gave up on me, even when I was a total shit in school, and persevered to ensure that I actually got a good education. My relative financial poverty during my upbringing doesn't change any of that. I still attribute my success to my upbringing. Not the (lack of) money, and not myself.

d-d 7y ago

Success is a powerful drug that can cause very convincing delusions.

soulofmischief 7y ago

I hope I don't come across as projecting. I am just sharing my own experience in poverty. I am still not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination and I have no support network. Obviously everyone is different. This is why I asked for other points of view for a better sample size.

oarsinsync 7y ago
I come from a poor family. My parents made a point of never spending any more than the bare minimum amount of money on me, and both had to work full time jobs. I would make my own way home from school every day from the age of 7. I would make my own way to school from the age of 11. School was a 90min bus ride one way, or a 30 min drive (60 min round trip, x2 for start+end of day). That doesn't change that I had both parents and teachers who cared about me, educated me, disciplined me, and enabled me to succeed. > As someone who grew up in relatively abject poverty, most of the positive things in my life have only come from within, due to my determination to succeed despite numerous setbacks. There is nothing about my success in my adult life that has only come from within. Even my determination isn't mine and mine alone. Everything about my success is down to the opportunities that were afforded to me, to enable me to have that determination and outlook. My parents, my teachers, and my peers throughout my upbringing and adult life have all played a part. Nobody exists in a vacuum. I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. I expect the vast majority of commentators on this board have had similarly privileged lives. The people stuck (either by 'choice' or by 'circumstance') most likely have not. At the risk of sounding like a <insert pejorative du jour here>, check your privilege, appreciate it for what it is, and try not to look down on those that didn't have the same opportunities that you did.
- soulofmischief 7y ago
  Nobody exists in a vacuum. You're arguing a strawman. You are introducing absolutes into a conversation which was purposefully framed as fluid. For example, I said most of the positive things. Your post is built upon the premise that I believe all positive things in my life came only from within, however you said the word only, not me. I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. That's great... almost comes off as bragging, but okay... check your privilege, appreciate it for what it is, and try not to look down on those that didn't have the same opportunities that you did. ...Seriously? You are literally coming from a place of higher privilege and looking down on me. You are projecting your own fortune onto me and consequently expecting the same attitude. I have not had such fortune as you, in fact most people haven't. I don't need to check my privilege, I am aware of everything I have and wake up every day thankful I don't live in a place like Saudi Arabia. But we aren't talking about Saudi Arabia. We are talking about America, and our conversation about privilege is relative to America. And relative to America, I have lived in abject poverty for most of my life.
  - oarsinsync 7y ago
    Apologies, I misread your statement, and my response was overly broad. This is my mistake. I may also have not been sufficiently clear in my messaging. I am talking from the perspective of someone born and raised in a "first world" western developed democracy similar in many ways to the USA (in this instance, the UK). > I am immensely privileged to have had the amount of support I have had. The intent here is to drive the point that the support I have received is not financial, and while coming from a financially wealthy family is hugely advantageous to future financial success, there are many other variables in play that are not financial. When I talk about the support I have, I am recognising the time and effort other people have given me. Having good parents isn't a right. It's entirely luck of the draw. The same largely applies to your teachers. It really shouldn't, but that's what the situation looks like today. If you're in a good school district, your chances of success are significantly better than if you're not. I'm not talking about Saudi Arabia, I'm talking about being immensely grateful that not only were my parents incredible, hard working people, who did the best they could with what little they had; and that my teachers, overworked and underpaid, never gave up on me, even when I was a total shit in school, and persevered to ensure that I actually got a good education. My relative financial poverty during my upbringing doesn't change any of that. I still attribute my success to my upbringing. Not the (lack of) money, and not myself.