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Except every single one of the dozen+ female engineers I personally at FAANGM+ has a first-hand account of something vile that a male collegue did. In one case

Except every single one of the dozen+ female engineers I personally at FAANGM+ has a first-hand account of something vile that a male collegue did. In one case an internship mentor asked someone to come to their house, stating the wife and kids aren't home at night. Maybe you're a great man, and you only know other great men . But you can't dismiss a whole group just because you don't experience what they do. Just because it's not happening to you, doesn't mean it's not happening. Similar situation is when my non-minority friends are surprised that racism still exists in <area>. "I know racism exits, but that kind of thing cannot happen <here>!" Well, my friend, you wouldn't feel that way if you looked like me.

thu2111 7y ago
Men hitting on women and women not liking it is a phenomenon as old as humanity itself. The idea that it's "vile" is relatively new. Women can say no. If he doesn't take the hint, there are procedures they can start to correct his behaviour. Or they can report him to his wife and trigger social consequences that way. Or they can say yes and enjoy a romantic relationship - as for example happened with Bill Gates and Sergey Brin (twice). Clearly, not every woman thinks it's "vile" to be asked out at work. If I recall correctly Melinda Gates even said no the first time. Lucky for her she wasn't meeting Bill in 2019. Regardless of how these women felt, being asked out by a married guy is simply not as bad as being openly excluded from promotions and job opportunities because of your gender or race: as happens regularly to men these days, usually at the behest of activist female workers.