"Why can't you just" is a huge pet peeve of mine. "Why can't you just" is particular frustrating when someone interrupts a deep conversation. What they're real

"Why can't you just" is a huge pet peeve of mine. "Why can't you just" is particular frustrating when someone interrupts a deep conversation. What they're really saying is "can you please stop your conversation and focus your full attaching on catching me up to all the issues you discussed 2 hours ago?" Here's an alternative: "Can you tell me about your problem?" Then shut up and listen. And here's a slightly longer form: "You've thought about this way more than me. I'd love to brainstorm with you. But I'll need to catch up. <Listen. Listen more.> So why doesn't sshd work? Ok, and why can't you foo? Oh damn. What happens if you bar? Dang. I don't have an answer yet, but I am starting to understand your problem". Odds are decent that someone will solve their own hard problem by using you as a rubber duck. Odds are very, very low that you'll solve someone else's hard problem by offering up the very first thing that comes to mind.