4 ms·

Forget dating: First step is getting yourself some local friends. This means joining social activities nearby. Are you interested in board games? Start showing

by lagadu 7y ago

Forget dating: First step is getting yourself some local friends. This means joining social activities nearby. Are you interested in board games? Start showing up to the local board games meets. Do you like cooking? Take a cooking course. Dancing is so easy it's almost cheating: go to local balls or join a class, it's a ton of fun and you'll meet many people. Think of anything that can be done or taught socially that you might find enjoyable, I guarantee you'll find social events related to it and odds are that you'll be well received because communities like this always benefit from new faces.

an_openbook 7y ago
I've been going to a twice-a-month board game night, and... what now? People come, some bring games, we play some and then everyone leaves. What am I missing?
- eloisius 7y ago
  That’s it. You’re riding the bike. You said you wanted to ride a bike. Keep doing it because seeing those same faces regularly is slowly building some rapport between you. You’ll naturally pick up some details about them, hear their likes and dislikes, past experiences, etc. Soon enough you’ll know enough about them to advance the arrangement to friendship. Congrats, achievement unlocked.
  - harimau777 7y ago
    Is that really a viable strategy though? You're talking about spending months, if not a year or more, for a chance to make a friend. Then once you've established a group of friends there is an even smaller chance that you will meet a potential romantic partner. This in turn leads to an even smaller chance that the relationship works out. It seems to me that approach could easily take decades. I'm not sure that's a realistic strategy.
    - lagadu 7y ago
      Well, building friendships is something that takes at the very least a few months and that's with very regular contact. Generally speaking friendship usually comes from a simple factor: it breeds from familiarity and that takes time. This is why it's fairly important to be doing something you find enjoyable by itself, otherwise you'll get bored of it before friendships have a chance to blossom.

by lagadu 7y ago

an_openbook 7y ago

I've been going to a twice-a-month board game night, and... what now? People come, some bring games, we play some and then everyone leaves. What am I missing?

eloisius 7y ago
That’s it. You’re riding the bike. You said you wanted to ride a bike. Keep doing it because seeing those same faces regularly is slowly building some rapport between you. You’ll naturally pick up some details about them, hear their likes and dislikes, past experiences, etc. Soon enough you’ll know enough about them to advance the arrangement to friendship. Congrats, achievement unlocked.
- harimau777 7y ago
  Is that really a viable strategy though? You're talking about spending months, if not a year or more, for a chance to make a friend. Then once you've established a group of friends there is an even smaller chance that you will meet a potential romantic partner. This in turn leads to an even smaller chance that the relationship works out. It seems to me that approach could easily take decades. I'm not sure that's a realistic strategy.
  - lagadu 7y ago
    Well, building friendships is something that takes at the very least a few months and that's with very regular contact. Generally speaking friendship usually comes from a simple factor: it breeds from familiarity and that takes time. This is why it's fairly important to be doing something you find enjoyable by itself, otherwise you'll get bored of it before friendships have a chance to blossom.