I think the problems may be that 1) he blames the patriarchy 2) he doesn't see himself as a catch I know men are in a difficult position because they want to e

I think the problems may be that 1) he blames the patriarchy 2) he doesn't see himself as a catch I know men are in a difficult position because they want to err on the side of caution and not make a move when it could be seen as a violation/unwanted, but these attitudes (blaming the patriarchy, etc) are projected to the would-be partner and it's probably a turn-off. Find someone you can build trust with where every interaction between the two of you isn't interpreted through some larger cultural lens.