I'm sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. If these sentences were shorter and pithier, they would qualify for the best starting sentences, since most of them

I'm sorry, I didn't express myself clearly. If these sentences were shorter and pithier, they would qualify for the best starting sentences, since most of them are quite funny and/or intriguing. To win the first prize of the worst sentences, they need to be not only rambling (as most are), but also horrible. The winners of a similar contest mentioned by shantly are more in the spirit of being horrible (or at least corny) while being limited in their rambling length.