5 ms·

I want to move, so badly. It's been my singular goal for over a year now and I've cut back my spending nearly entirely except for rent+groceries to try to save

I want to move, so badly. It's been my singular goal for over a year now and I've cut back my spending nearly entirely except for rent+groceries to try to save up enough to do so, and I've sold most of my belongings to save more and make the eventual move easier. Moving is what I think about when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I have severe seasonal affective disorder and pretty bad driving anxiety. I've seen mental health professionals for both of these and everyone's just said I should move. I have cognitive techniques for both of these that help a little, and been recommended medications to help, but really the solution is to move and be car-free. On days where I don't have to drive and it's above 65F outside, I genuinely feel like a totally different person. The only place in the US where you can be a first-class citizen without a car and feel the sun every day is San Francisco. It's a nice bonus that SF is a fantastic place to be a hardware engineer too. I've been on a plan of sending out 10-15 applications every week for about a year and have at least 1 phone interview each week. I've been in the interview pipeline with around 60 companies over the past year, and so far received zero offers. Usually it's "we're looking for someone already local". If it ever happens, getting a job in SF and moving there will have been the hardest thing I've ever done. My bank account is at $13k now, so once it hits $20k I'm just going to risk it and move without a job.

turk73 7y ago
You going to live in a closet or what? The amount you have saved up seems insufficient to take on a HCOL area. Any hardware gigs in Austin or RTP? I kind of think your specialty is being globalized out of existence in the US, but I don't follow that area much, so I could be speaking out of turn on that. Also, what is "driving anxiety?" Does that mean you're a bad driver? How about a Skip Barber school?
rubidium 7y ago
If you want sun and warmth you should do San Diego, not San Fran.
- nwvg_7257 7y ago
  Agreed. I am also carless, but I wouldn't want to move to San Fran. as it's much too expensive. You should for sure consider other places in Cali. like San Diego, which has perfectly good public transit, but I would also consider the DC area, Austin, Chapel Hill (free and frequent bus service), etc.
  - PascLeRasc 7y ago
    Thanks. I've thought about San Diego a lot, but I heard from a friend that it's incredibly car-centric there. Good to hear another perspective.
    - diehunde 7y ago
      Same in Austin. Don't go there if you are looking for a walkable place. I can't even take my dog for a walk to a nice place.
      - bretthoerner 7y ago
        There are very walkable parts of Austin.
spartas 7y ago
Jump. That $7k won't make a difference in SF and you're never going to get back the time. You're already getting (and doing well with) interviews. Negotiate yourself an offer (maybe even with relocation expenses) with one of these companies and then move. Understand that time is a much more scarce resource than money.
soared 7y ago
There are a million alternatives to SF that fit your needs FYI. Austin, Texas is probably the best, but plenty of towns in the southwest and south are hot year round and can be viable without a car. Even Denver is a decent choice.
- diehunde 7y ago
  I disagree. Winters can get very cold here in Austin. Also is impossible to get around without a car even if you live downtown. Is not a walkable city.
  - bretthoerner 7y ago
    > Also is impossible to get around without a car even if you live downtown. Is not a walkable city. This isn't true. Where do you live?
    - diehunde 7y ago
      There's a bunch of walkability scores for cities in the US online. Austin ranks pretty low for what most people think.
      - bretthoerner 7y ago
        Walkability scores of downtown Austin are very high.
        deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]
jjav 7y ago
When you say San Francisco do you literally mean the city of San Francisco, or the bay area in general? San Francisco is cold and foggy. A day warmer than 65F and brightly sunny is the exception. Also, hardware companies are generally not in San Francisco. Silicon Valley proper (about an hour south of San Francisco) is generally sunny and often warmer than 65F, so can work for you. Still chilly in the winter though.
elipsey 7y ago
My spouse has simillar issues, and we have really loved not driving since moving to (downtown) SF. Some people think it's cold and foggy here, but compared to places I lived in the northwest or northeast, it's almost like there is no weather at all. The vast majority of the time, it's in the 60's or 70's, and rarely more than partly cloudy. Also, because of the relatively lower lattitude, it's light more in the winter than other places I have lived, which I would expect to be the most important factor for S.A.D. People who think it's cold here think cold means 60F. This is a legitimate point of view, but nothing like where I come from. Consider that noise, impersonalization, aggressive people, and a certain amount of urban squalor will likely weight on your mood and cause some degree of anxiety if those things bother you. It will take time to adjust your expectations and habits to avoid the worst of that. I slipped into the habit of wearing headphones and sunglasses when I'm out walking to dull the noise, and make it harder to for people to hassle me (I used to find this mildly anti-social; now I'm one of them). There are plenty of natural green places you can go on public transport to unwind from the city, but you have to go through it to get there. I suggest finding an apartment building with a gym in it, or nearby if you can. Also, moving here without a job is a risky proposition. 20k$ sounds like about 4-6 months runway at best, if you live by yourself, with no car, and _very_ modestly. OTOH, it seems like employers were suddenly more willing to talk me when I got here just because I had an SF address. Good luck, I hope it works out.

turk73 7y ago

You going to live in a closet or what? The amount you have saved up seems insufficient to take on a HCOL area. Any hardware gigs in Austin or RTP? I kind of think your specialty is being globalized out of existence in the US, but I don't follow that area much, so I could be speaking out of turn on that. Also, what is "driving anxiety?" Does that mean you're a bad driver? How about a Skip Barber school?

rubidium 7y ago

If you want sun and warmth you should do San Diego, not San Fran.

nwvg_7257 7y ago
Agreed. I am also carless, but I wouldn't want to move to San Fran. as it's much too expensive. You should for sure consider other places in Cali. like San Diego, which has perfectly good public transit, but I would also consider the DC area, Austin, Chapel Hill (free and frequent bus service), etc.
- PascLeRasc 7y ago
  Thanks. I've thought about San Diego a lot, but I heard from a friend that it's incredibly car-centric there. Good to hear another perspective.
  - diehunde 7y ago
    Same in Austin. Don't go there if you are looking for a walkable place. I can't even take my dog for a walk to a nice place.
    - bretthoerner 7y ago
      There are very walkable parts of Austin.

spartas 7y ago

Jump. That $7k won't make a difference in SF and you're never going to get back the time. You're already getting (and doing well with) interviews. Negotiate yourself an offer (maybe even with relocation expenses) with one of these companies and then move. Understand that time is a much more scarce resource than money.

soared 7y ago

There are a million alternatives to SF that fit your needs FYI. Austin, Texas is probably the best, but plenty of towns in the southwest and south are hot year round and can be viable without a car. Even Denver is a decent choice.

diehunde 7y ago
I disagree. Winters can get very cold here in Austin. Also is impossible to get around without a car even if you live downtown. Is not a walkable city.
- bretthoerner 7y ago
  > Also is impossible to get around without a car even if you live downtown. Is not a walkable city. This isn't true. Where do you live?
  - diehunde 7y ago
    There's a bunch of walkability scores for cities in the US online. Austin ranks pretty low for what most people think.
    - bretthoerner 7y ago
      Walkability scores of downtown Austin are very high.
      - deleted 7y ago
        [deleted]

jjav 7y ago

When you say San Francisco do you literally mean the city of San Francisco, or the bay area in general? San Francisco is cold and foggy. A day warmer than 65F and brightly sunny is the exception. Also, hardware companies are generally not in San Francisco. Silicon Valley proper (about an hour south of San Francisco) is generally sunny and often warmer than 65F, so can work for you. Still chilly in the winter though.

elipsey 7y ago

My spouse has simillar issues, and we have really loved not driving since moving to (downtown) SF. Some people think it's cold and foggy here, but compared to places I lived in the northwest or northeast, it's almost like there is no weather at all. The vast majority of the time, it's in the 60's or 70's, and rarely more than partly cloudy. Also, because of the relatively lower lattitude, it's light more in the winter than other places I have lived, which I would expect to be the most important factor for S.A.D. People who think it's cold here think cold means 60F. This is a legitimate point of view, but nothing like where I come from. Consider that noise, impersonalization, aggressive people, and a certain amount of urban squalor will likely weight on your mood and cause some degree of anxiety if those things bother you. It will take time to adjust your expectations and habits to avoid the worst of that. I slipped into the habit of wearing headphones and sunglasses when I'm out walking to dull the noise, and make it harder to for people to hassle me (I used to find this mildly anti-social; now I'm one of them). There are plenty of natural green places you can go on public transport to unwind from the city, but you have to go through it to get there. I suggest finding an apartment building with a gym in it, or nearby if you can. Also, moving here without a job is a risky proposition. 20k$ sounds like about 4-6 months runway at best, if you live by yourself, with no car, and _very_ modestly. OTOH, it seems like employers were suddenly more willing to talk me when I got here just because I had an SF address. Good luck, I hope it works out.