5 ms·

I left my job as a physician 5 years ago. Of course it was a hectic life, but the hours and pressure wasn't as bad as my lack of control over my life. Everyone

I left my job as a physician 5 years ago. Of course it was a hectic life, but the hours and pressure wasn't as bad as my lack of control over my life. Everyone thought I was crazy to leave without something else lined up already, but I knew if I stayed I would die. Just as she says in this article; not suicidality, but rather some odd sense of existential doom. I'm still angry. Angry at every imposition anyone dares to make on me. Angry I essentially wasted 13 years of my life following a societal program rather than being brave enough to figure out what I actually wanted from the start. Like the author, I'm also not sure if there's a cure for burnout. Five years on, I'm still living a sub-poverty lifestyle off of odd jobs and creative pursuits. Whenever I get an urge to do something more involved, I get exposed a bit again to the world of registrations and resumes, licenses and HR departments...and I lose all motivation again. But I don't think it's a problem. I don't think of my burnout as a defect. More as a wizening up to the view that most of what I hussled myself over was bullshit, and it was right to leave and not look back. I'm just sorry it took me so long to start living for myself. I'm sure I sound spoiled and selfish. I don't care. Just be glad I left before you or a loved one had the unfortune of having me as your doc.

agumonkey 7y ago
"funny" I do feel similarly cheated about my studies (computing) and the missing information about adult life that totally change my view about job/career. I'm also a bit schizophrenic about computing. At my current min-wage job, I started thinking and writing some code (some topic I never done, on a new platform mind you). I'm both happy and unhappy about it. Back to burnout, this brainless job I have allows me to wander as I see fit without stress. It's a freedom of creative thinking without pressure to be compared to the forced burden of juggling with things I wouldn't enjoy in a mainstream programming job. Even for a big check I'm not sure I'd be as peaceful as I'm now at times (it's not stable yet). I also keep intellectual and creative pursuits on the side. Somehow I decoupled financial duties and intellectual growth. I can read about mathematics and electrical engineering on my own pace, and it's often a joy. The lack of pressure and the choice of topics I find interesting is a much better and much more natural energy source. Do you think about keeping medical pursuits on the side ? maybe not as a physician. I don't know, joining a lab, going to conferences.

agumonkey 7y ago

"funny" I do feel similarly cheated about my studies (computing) and the missing information about adult life that totally change my view about job/career. I'm also a bit schizophrenic about computing. At my current min-wage job, I started thinking and writing some code (some topic I never done, on a new platform mind you). I'm both happy and unhappy about it. Back to burnout, this brainless job I have allows me to wander as I see fit without stress. It's a freedom of creative thinking without pressure to be compared to the forced burden of juggling with things I wouldn't enjoy in a mainstream programming job. Even for a big check I'm not sure I'd be as peaceful as I'm now at times (it's not stable yet). I also keep intellectual and creative pursuits on the side. Somehow I decoupled financial duties and intellectual growth. I can read about mathematics and electrical engineering on my own pace, and it's often a joy. The lack of pressure and the choice of topics I find interesting is a much better and much more natural energy source. Do you think about keeping medical pursuits on the side ? maybe not as a physician. I don't know, joining a lab, going to conferences.