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Where you born in van or moved here? I find locals already have social circles and new people have a hard time breaking into them. Can’t say why but seems to ho

Where you born in van or moved here? I find locals already have social circles and new people have a hard time breaking into them. Can’t say why but seems to hold water with my social circles

peteretep 7y ago
Sounds like London. Lots of people friends with people they knew from their home towns who also moved in. Any time I went to an expat event there, people complaining they never made any British friends.
- girvo 7y ago
  My brother spent two years in London — nearly all of his friends were either other aussies or from other countries, modulo a few friendly brits: and he ran a pub for those two years!
kelvie 7y ago
As someone born here, it feels the same way to me. Basically my entire social circle is just people who are also born here. You basically have to marry into this social group, and none of us really seem to mind. That said, people also form groups around activities (like knitting circles, various sports, and what not).
- otoburb 7y ago
  >>You basically have to marry into this social group, and _none of us really seem to mind_. Can confirm. Vancouver is a completely difference experience when you have friends/family that actively introduce you as a trusted vertex into their pre-existing social graphs. It feels like a social-stakes version of the "Sand Hill Road warm intros" game.
mgh2 7y ago
I moved from the US and every city I went to was really inclusive, but I can be biased because I socialized with churchgoers (where inclusion of outsiders is their responsibility). This is based on a fairly large sample size: Houston, Austin, Menlo Park, New York, and LA for ~10 year period. This subset is completely different in Vancouver though: the cliqueness, especially in Chinese speaking communities, is prevalent- I just gave up after 2 years and ~5-10 churches. Btw, I am Asian and know fluent Chinese...
- pshc 7y ago
  Holy. I’m sorry to hear it. I say as a born and raised Vancouverite, since moved to the US... it’s kinda fucked out there.

Where you born in van or moved here? I find locals already have social circles and new people have a hard time breaking into them. Can’t say why but seems to hold water with my social circles

peteretep 7y ago

Sounds like London. Lots of people friends with people they knew from their home towns who also moved in. Any time I went to an expat event there, people complaining they never made any British friends.

girvo 7y ago
My brother spent two years in London — nearly all of his friends were either other aussies or from other countries, modulo a few friendly brits: and he ran a pub for those two years!

kelvie 7y ago

As someone born here, it feels the same way to me. Basically my entire social circle is just people who are also born here. You basically have to marry into this social group, and none of us really seem to mind. That said, people also form groups around activities (like knitting circles, various sports, and what not).

otoburb 7y ago
>>You basically have to marry into this social group, and _none of us really seem to mind_. Can confirm. Vancouver is a completely difference experience when you have friends/family that actively introduce you as a trusted vertex into their pre-existing social graphs. It feels like a social-stakes version of the "Sand Hill Road warm intros" game.

mgh2 7y ago

I moved from the US and every city I went to was really inclusive, but I can be biased because I socialized with churchgoers (where inclusion of outsiders is their responsibility). This is based on a fairly large sample size: Houston, Austin, Menlo Park, New York, and LA for ~10 year period. This subset is completely different in Vancouver though: the cliqueness, especially in Chinese speaking communities, is prevalent- I just gave up after 2 years and ~5-10 churches. Btw, I am Asian and know fluent Chinese...

pshc 7y ago
Holy. I’m sorry to hear it. I say as a born and raised Vancouverite, since moved to the US... it’s kinda fucked out there.