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My biggest triggers are people who eat crunchy food with open mouths; people who slurp their drinks; people who are oblivious to their environment and sing loud

My biggest triggers are people who eat crunchy food with open mouths; people who slurp their drinks; people who are oblivious to their environment and sing loudly in open offices. Colleagues next to me eating hard carrots, chips, anything crunchy. Or Chinese expats who slurp their soup and coffee (normal in their culture; rude in mine)... it drove me crazy. The singing one drove me insane at my last job. An office lady walked around the office, she would loudly and falsely be singing nonsense like: "LALALALA POMPOM PIEWPIEW LALA" (verbatim) and sometimes fragments from pop songs, in her broken English: "I CAN'T GET NO SASIFICTION LALAPOMPOM". I wanted to murder her. No joke. If I could get away with it, I would have. The anger was physical and deep. Rage and disgust was the feeling, and I felt personally attacked. It felt like a "fight or flee" instinct, where I'd prefer to fight. Many angry looks thrown at her (not just from me!) didn't make any difference. She must've felt like she was a rock star or something. On my last day in the office I mentioned her to the rest of the office. Turns out everyone was annoyed by her. Nobody spoke up. I have misophonia. The hospital close to my home in Amsterdam did a lot of scientific research into it. And nowadays I work from home, fully remote, as a software engineer. Life is good.

arthurfm 7y ago
> My biggest triggers are people who eat crunchy food with open mouths; people who slurp their drinks; people who are oblivious to their environment and sing loudly in open offices. For me it's people who talk while eating and who read emails aloud while writing them. So annoying! I have had to resort to taking noise cancelling headphones to work.
- wdb 7y ago
  Eating at your desk is a pain point of mine. Why not go to the canteen?
  - afarrell 7y ago
    It is more difficult to focus in a noisy office, so you might get into the habit of trying work more hours in order to avoid getting fired.
ww520 7y ago
The singing one cracks me up. Yeah, it's pretty annoying to hear self absorbed people broadcasting their untalented attempt at singing.
jrootabega 7y ago
She did it to get you mad.
- drdeadringer 7y ago
  If that were true, would that be another reason not to work with her?
tener 7y ago
Genuinely puzzled the lady wasn't immediately silenced by others or management of this place. It must have been clear this is disruptive?
- 734129837261 7y ago
  Most of us were hired consultants in the open office that we shared with her. Management and internal staff sat in private offices, mostly. The instructions from my employer were always to not disrupt the status quo. She was their employee, and it was not up to us to complain about it. I complained to my employer, who did nothing about it because he thought it was funny.
tzs 7y ago
We had a guy who narrated whatever he was doing, in third person. Let's call him Bob. Suppose Bob needed to FTP a file from a server, print it, staple the pages together, and then give it to me. During this entire process, Bob would talk, saying something like this: > Bob is starting the FTP program. Bob is typing his name and password. Bob is starting the file transfer. Bob's exiting. Bob is selecting the file and printing it. Bob is selecting two sided printing. Bob has sent the file to the printer. Now Bob is walking to the printer. Bob is picking up the sheets. Bob is looking for a stapler. Bob found it, and is stapling the sheets. Bob is walking to tzs' desk. Bob's handing the printout to tzs.
- DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
  I'm curious if Bob had reasons for doing that. Most everybody has some private struggles and coping mechanisms / life hacks.
  - afarrell 7y ago
    This sounds like a way to maintain an Instruction Pointer in working memory. Keeping track of one’s current task can be a challenge. I find it better to type that into a notebook app like Bear.
- neverartful 7y ago
  If they ever have a sequel to Office Space, this could be a funny addition.
  - lozenge 7y ago
    Nah, it would be too unbelievable.
- tenebrisalietum 7y ago
  Was Bob logging his actions to a recording device?
- rezgi 7y ago
  Bob was probably started with `-v` or `--debug`. Try turning down the loglevel next time you start `bob`.
DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
> I wanted to murder her. No joke. If I could get away with it, I would have. The anger was physical and deep. Rage and disgust was the feeling, and I felt personally attacked. It felt like a "fight or flee" instinct, where I'd prefer to fight. Just in case you're not using hyperbole, you might consider some visits with a good counselor. I think most people can learn techniques to avoid getting so angry, and the unhappiness that comes with it.
- silveroriole 7y ago
  Does counselling work for misophonia? It really does feel like an involuntary fight-or-flight mechanism rather than just “anger”. Would be interested to hear if anyone’s had success with it, cause boy does it ruin family dinners when you have to either leave the room or sit there with your fork in a death grip trying not to kill everyone.
  - 734129837261 7y ago
    It has also not been researched very much. That said, I've suffered brain damage for which I'm medicated because I didn't have any brakes on my emotions anymore. That helped bringing me back to normal levels of dealing with emotions, and it also reduced the levels of anger I felt dealing with misophonia triggers. Medicine used: Depakine (valproic acid).
  - mffnbs 7y ago
    It would teach you coping skills, one of which is leaving the room and another is physical sensation like holding a fork extremely hard. Breathing helps too, but I find it difficult to remember.
- 734129837261 7y ago
  The feeling was absolutely real. The feeling is best described as feeling cornered and attacked, with my only way out being extreme violence. That said, I've also been tested for all kinds of problems (yay affordable health care + endless supplies of mental care), and I'm completely normal and not dangerous. I just have misophonia. They did studies on misophonia and I was part of it during another unrelated rehabilitation (accident related) for which I was treated in the same hospital. Interestingly, it's not a mental problem, it's physical, see: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44084-8 https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44084-8
neverartful 7y ago
Some of the sounds (in addition to those already mentioned) that do (or have) driven me nuts: fast scraping to get last bit of yogurt from plastic container with plastic spoon, chewing/cracking gum where the chewer makes little air bubbles in the gum and then pops them (x10 if they're chewing with their mouth open), whistling, humming, tapping fingernails against table top, tapping foot against floor/chair/desk, digging in purse, cell phone ringing/dinging/alerts, sighing. I once worked with a guy whose normal breathing made a whistling sound. I was sitting about 20 feet from him and one day I was about to go insane. I immediately bought a pair of Bose QC-15 headphones and it made all the difference in the world. Currently, there's a lady who sits on the other side of my cubicle wall who wears a charm bracelet. The sound of her charm bracelet hitting and dragging across the desktop all day drives me batty. I suppose I must have misophonia (first heard about it in this thread). There are times when I wish I were deaf.
- 734129837261 7y ago
  > There are times when I wish I were deaf. I hear ya (pun somewhat intended), I wish there was an off-switch in my ears. I'd miss music and the voices of loved ones, but the peace and quiet would make me infinitely more productive in life.
- deleted 7y ago
  [deleted]
Krasnol 7y ago
I was sitting with a guy who was talking to his CAD drawings. It was pure madness. Especially because in between he'd talk to me. As if he expected me to listen to him all the time! The day I moved into my own office and could close the door was the happiest day I had in my whole working life.
lilfatbitch 7y ago
You might have autism
thefz 7y ago
I recently escaped a situation sort of like the one you describe. 5 desk smallish office, we had one coworker who already has a very high natural voice volume and tone, who could not be stopped from having all sorts of personal calls while at the desk. Boss would do nothing (but was closing his office door not to hear him) since he was a pathological submissive introvert. We asked politely to at least leave the room. We asked not so politely. We had the office manager come and talk to him, the quiet would last two or three days and then it will all start again. Calling his spouse, calling his kids and doing homework with them at the phone, calling his parents, mechanic, house renovator and whatnot. We started counting and averaged around 7 calls a day, which we could not avoid to hear. In 2018 the total was around 1800 calls.

arthurfm 7y ago

> My biggest triggers are people who eat crunchy food with open mouths; people who slurp their drinks; people who are oblivious to their environment and sing loudly in open offices. For me it's people who talk while eating and who read emails aloud while writing them. So annoying! I have had to resort to taking noise cancelling headphones to work.

wdb 7y ago
Eating at your desk is a pain point of mine. Why not go to the canteen?
- afarrell 7y ago
  It is more difficult to focus in a noisy office, so you might get into the habit of trying work more hours in order to avoid getting fired.

ww520 7y ago

The singing one cracks me up. Yeah, it's pretty annoying to hear self absorbed people broadcasting their untalented attempt at singing.

jrootabega 7y ago

She did it to get you mad.

drdeadringer 7y ago
If that were true, would that be another reason not to work with her?

tener 7y ago

Genuinely puzzled the lady wasn't immediately silenced by others or management of this place. It must have been clear this is disruptive?

734129837261 7y ago
Most of us were hired consultants in the open office that we shared with her. Management and internal staff sat in private offices, mostly. The instructions from my employer were always to not disrupt the status quo. She was their employee, and it was not up to us to complain about it. I complained to my employer, who did nothing about it because he thought it was funny.

tzs 7y ago

We had a guy who narrated whatever he was doing, in third person. Let's call him Bob. Suppose Bob needed to FTP a file from a server, print it, staple the pages together, and then give it to me. During this entire process, Bob would talk, saying something like this: > Bob is starting the FTP program. Bob is typing his name and password. Bob is starting the file transfer. Bob's exiting. Bob is selecting the file and printing it. Bob is selecting two sided printing. Bob has sent the file to the printer. Now Bob is walking to the printer. Bob is picking up the sheets. Bob is looking for a stapler. Bob found it, and is stapling the sheets. Bob is walking to tzs' desk. Bob's handing the printout to tzs.

DoofusOfDeath 7y ago
I'm curious if Bob had reasons for doing that. Most everybody has some private struggles and coping mechanisms / life hacks.
- afarrell 7y ago
  This sounds like a way to maintain an Instruction Pointer in working memory. Keeping track of one’s current task can be a challenge. I find it better to type that into a notebook app like Bear.
neverartful 7y ago
If they ever have a sequel to Office Space, this could be a funny addition.
- lozenge 7y ago
  Nah, it would be too unbelievable.
tenebrisalietum 7y ago
Was Bob logging his actions to a recording device?
rezgi 7y ago
Bob was probably started with `-v` or `--debug`. Try turning down the loglevel next time you start `bob`.

DoofusOfDeath 7y ago

> I wanted to murder her. No joke. If I could get away with it, I would have. The anger was physical and deep. Rage and disgust was the feeling, and I felt personally attacked. It felt like a "fight or flee" instinct, where I'd prefer to fight. Just in case you're not using hyperbole, you might consider some visits with a good counselor. I think most people can learn techniques to avoid getting so angry, and the unhappiness that comes with it.

silveroriole 7y ago
Does counselling work for misophonia? It really does feel like an involuntary fight-or-flight mechanism rather than just “anger”. Would be interested to hear if anyone’s had success with it, cause boy does it ruin family dinners when you have to either leave the room or sit there with your fork in a death grip trying not to kill everyone.
- 734129837261 7y ago
  It has also not been researched very much. That said, I've suffered brain damage for which I'm medicated because I didn't have any brakes on my emotions anymore. That helped bringing me back to normal levels of dealing with emotions, and it also reduced the levels of anger I felt dealing with misophonia triggers. Medicine used: Depakine (valproic acid).
- mffnbs 7y ago
  It would teach you coping skills, one of which is leaving the room and another is physical sensation like holding a fork extremely hard. Breathing helps too, but I find it difficult to remember.
734129837261 7y ago
The feeling was absolutely real. The feeling is best described as feeling cornered and attacked, with my only way out being extreme violence. That said, I've also been tested for all kinds of problems (yay affordable health care + endless supplies of mental care), and I'm completely normal and not dangerous. I just have misophonia. They did studies on misophonia and I was part of it during another unrelated rehabilitation (accident related) for which I was treated in the same hospital. Interestingly, it's not a mental problem, it's physical, see: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44084-8 https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-44084-8

neverartful 7y ago

Some of the sounds (in addition to those already mentioned) that do (or have) driven me nuts: fast scraping to get last bit of yogurt from plastic container with plastic spoon, chewing/cracking gum where the chewer makes little air bubbles in the gum and then pops them (x10 if they're chewing with their mouth open), whistling, humming, tapping fingernails against table top, tapping foot against floor/chair/desk, digging in purse, cell phone ringing/dinging/alerts, sighing. I once worked with a guy whose normal breathing made a whistling sound. I was sitting about 20 feet from him and one day I was about to go insane. I immediately bought a pair of Bose QC-15 headphones and it made all the difference in the world. Currently, there's a lady who sits on the other side of my cubicle wall who wears a charm bracelet. The sound of her charm bracelet hitting and dragging across the desktop all day drives me batty. I suppose I must have misophonia (first heard about it in this thread). There are times when I wish I were deaf.

734129837261 7y ago
> There are times when I wish I were deaf. I hear ya (pun somewhat intended), I wish there was an off-switch in my ears. I'd miss music and the voices of loved ones, but the peace and quiet would make me infinitely more productive in life.
deleted 7y ago
[deleted]

Krasnol 7y ago

I was sitting with a guy who was talking to his CAD drawings. It was pure madness. Especially because in between he'd talk to me. As if he expected me to listen to him all the time! The day I moved into my own office and could close the door was the happiest day I had in my whole working life.

lilfatbitch 7y ago

You might have autism

thefz 7y ago

I recently escaped a situation sort of like the one you describe. 5 desk smallish office, we had one coworker who already has a very high natural voice volume and tone, who could not be stopped from having all sorts of personal calls while at the desk. Boss would do nothing (but was closing his office door not to hear him) since he was a pathological submissive introvert. We asked politely to at least leave the room. We asked not so politely. We had the office manager come and talk to him, the quiet would last two or three days and then it will all start again. Calling his spouse, calling his kids and doing homework with them at the phone, calling his parents, mechanic, house renovator and whatnot. We started counting and averaged around 7 calls a day, which we could not avoid to hear. In 2018 the total was around 1800 calls.