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I’m about to go through a series of job interviews. Any tips on determining whether potential future managers or coworkers are narcissists? Seems like it can be

I’m about to go through a series of job interviews. Any tips on determining whether potential future managers or coworkers are narcissists? Seems like it can be hard to suss this out without some longer-term exposure.

29athrowaway 7y ago
Narcissists see others as extensions of themselves, take credit and pass the blame. A red flag is when you cannot make a distinction between your personal achievements and your team achievements.
cagenut 7y ago
Correct or confront them on literally anything.
postfacto 7y ago
Narcissists are very charming initially and very good at hiding it. Some tells: - Very attuned to their own fashion attire. Very well/trendy dressed. - Use the words/phrases “value”, “add value” - Brag about themselves a lot. Talk about very lofty standards about very minor details.
- zozbot234 7y ago
  >and very good at hiding it Not really, you just need to know what to look for. A shallow, materialistic person with very little sense of humor, curiosity of the social/intellectual/cultural/creative kind, or visibly empathetic interest in others is a big red flag. The "curiosity" part may well be the easiest to assess as an observer, because it's not something that can be faked easily.
- proverbialbunny 7y ago
  None of those criteria fits NPD, except that they're good at hiding it. Only a few kinds of narcissists are charming.
IG_Semmelweiss 7y ago
Anecdata: I have adopted a heuristic from experience that so far has a 100% success rate in detecting psych issues in women: Women that majored in Psychology are women you dont want in your life. Make of that what you will.
proverbialbunny 7y ago
NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is complex and while it is possible to have a good eye for identifying them, it's nearly impossible to tell during job interview. Thankfully, most people with NPD want to live off of others for free, so the majority of narcissists are not in the work place. However, there are other not-so-great types that are more common in the work place. At the end of the day learning the ideal way to handle conflict (including with an abusive boss) is a productive endeavor, because that knowledge helps with many difficult situations. A master key of sorts is both how to handle conflict and how to identify dangerous people. For more information on how to identify them this comment I just wrote explains where they are coming from to a decent degree of detail: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21494295 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21494295 It helps to identify what people around you want, understand how manipulation works, and to not blindly believe stories. Most people believe or disbelieve what they hear. Having a third category that keeps track of unverified information helps identify when someone starts lying. Narcissists lie quite a bit, but they're not compulsive liars either. Sometimes it will take years to catch on. For how to handle difficult situations, the book In Sheep's Clothing is a quicker read that most books and dives into how to respond to ASPDs and NPDs in the work place: https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing-Manipulative/dp/1935166301 https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing...

29athrowaway 7y ago

Narcissists see others as extensions of themselves, take credit and pass the blame. A red flag is when you cannot make a distinction between your personal achievements and your team achievements.

cagenut 7y ago

Correct or confront them on literally anything.

postfacto 7y ago

Narcissists are very charming initially and very good at hiding it. Some tells: - Very attuned to their own fashion attire. Very well/trendy dressed. - Use the words/phrases “value”, “add value” - Brag about themselves a lot. Talk about very lofty standards about very minor details.

zozbot234 7y ago
>and very good at hiding it Not really, you just need to know what to look for. A shallow, materialistic person with very little sense of humor, curiosity of the social/intellectual/cultural/creative kind, or visibly empathetic interest in others is a big red flag. The "curiosity" part may well be the easiest to assess as an observer, because it's not something that can be faked easily.
proverbialbunny 7y ago
None of those criteria fits NPD, except that they're good at hiding it. Only a few kinds of narcissists are charming.

IG_Semmelweiss 7y ago

Anecdata: I have adopted a heuristic from experience that so far has a 100% success rate in detecting psych issues in women: Women that majored in Psychology are women you dont want in your life. Make of that what you will.

proverbialbunny 7y ago

NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is complex and while it is possible to have a good eye for identifying them, it's nearly impossible to tell during job interview. Thankfully, most people with NPD want to live off of others for free, so the majority of narcissists are not in the work place. However, there are other not-so-great types that are more common in the work place. At the end of the day learning the ideal way to handle conflict (including with an abusive boss) is a productive endeavor, because that knowledge helps with many difficult situations. A master key of sorts is both how to handle conflict and how to identify dangerous people. For more information on how to identify them this comment I just wrote explains where they are coming from to a decent degree of detail: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21494295 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21494295 It helps to identify what people around you want, understand how manipulation works, and to not blindly believe stories. Most people believe or disbelieve what they hear. Having a third category that keeps track of unverified information helps identify when someone starts lying. Narcissists lie quite a bit, but they're not compulsive liars either. Sometimes it will take years to catch on. For how to handle difficult situations, the book In Sheep's Clothing is a quicker read that most books and dives into how to respond to ASPDs and NPDs in the work place: https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing-Manipulative/dp/1935166301 https://www.amazon.com/Sheeps-Clothing-Understanding-Dealing...