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This is awesome. I once had an asshole of a roommate. When I had had enough and moved out, they wouldn't return my security deposit. But I had leverage. The
by PopeDotNinja 7y ago
This is awesome. I once had an asshole of a roommate. When I had had enough and moved out, they wouldn't return my security deposit. But I had leverage. They had been getting school tuition money from their parents, but not going to school. I tracked down their parents. & politely asked for my security deposit back in exchange for not outing them to their folks. I got my money back the next day.
- willis936 7y agoYou probably should have outed them afterwards anyway. Scamming your own parents is a shitty thing to do.
- graeme 7y agoThen you still have an asshole, sociopathic roommate, and you no longer have any leverage on them. A dangerous game. They literally live with you, and are supremely immoral.
- shakna 7y ago> When I had had enough and moved out, they wouldn't return my security deposit. None of it would have been safe to do if they were still living with them.
- gmjosack 7y agoThe anecdote was about getting back the security deposit after moving out.
- graeme 7y agoOops, I misread it. Though I think my general argument still stands: the ex roommate knew a lot about OP, and was immoral. As long as OP knew his secret the ex roommate couldn't retaliate. If OP had outed them, they would have further angered the ex roommate and freed the roommate from consequences it they wanted to get revenge on OP.
- deleted 7y ago[deleted]
- PopeDotNinja 7y agoI was happy to get out of there. It's not like I could have reformed them with a good heart to heart talk. Once I went to do laundry and stepped barefooted into a steaming pile of dog poo their dog had dropped on the laundry room floor. When I complained, instead of apologizing for it, they told me I should have watched where I was walking. My roommate was a genuine asshole, and just getting them out of my life was amazing.
- graeme 7y agoHmm, I seem to have worded my comment poorly? The comment I replied to suggested you should have outed them to their parents while living with them. I was arguing that would have been an insane thing to do, as you would then have had no more leverage, and would have angered an immoral person. I.e. You didn't need to do anything more than you did.
- PopeDotNinja 7y agoAh, yes. I agree with this.
- earenndil 7y agoThe response to dishonesty should not be more dishonesty, but a model of correct behaviour.
- willis936 7y agoI disagree. There was leverage to balance the sheet. The room mate was trying to steal money from him. Say anything that is legal to get it back and barring that get the cops involved (a last resort since that greatly complicates a situation). Then assess the situation. Bad behavior shouldn’t be rewarded. There’s no reason the room mate should ever know how the parents learned that information. If the parents were tactful they would use the information to make a plan to bring it to light organically.
- dwoozle 7y agoThat guidance, often framed in religious terms, is a core tool with which sociopaths in power neuter their opponents.
- hackcasual 7y agoJust FYI, if you live in the US, what you just described is criminal extortion.
- noonespecial 7y agoUnfortunately, while technically true we usually just call behavior like this "collections".
- PopeDotNinja 7y agoInteresting. Looking up extortion... https://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/extortion.html https://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/extortion.html "Most states define extortion as the gaining of property or money by almost any kind of force or threat of violence, property damage, harm to reputation, or unfavorable government action." My IANAL interpretation of that would be extortion wouldn't apply here. Because my security deposit is legally mine, and they were holding it on my behalf, I'm not gaining anything. Demanding my own property back is not the same as profiting. If I had demanded my deposit back plus $1, then it would be extortion. Maybe. Again, IANAL. Fortunately the statute of limitations makes me safe, as this was long ago :)
- unlinked_dll 7y agoIt's not about whether it's "legally" yours (and even that would be up for dispute) but how you acquired it. You can't threaten somebody to get things, that's extortion
- tingletech 7y agoextortion usually involves a threat of force, this sounds more like blackmail?
- unlinked_dll 7y agoblackmail is extortion
- 7y ago