This is the core problem with social justice, which I support. When you have a very real problem, eg that some groups live their lives in a situation where they

This is the core problem with social justice, which I support. When you have a very real problem, eg that some groups live their lives in a situation where they must police their speech and actions to fit with the dominant white male cishet culture. This is a problem, and should be noted and acknowledged. Do you not see that having as your solution "force everyone to act fake and robotic, just like excluded groups/cultures do around the dominant culture" just expands the problem? This robotic speech is incredibly socially isolating, you end up with communities isolating into their specific groups not out of racism or sexism but because it is the path of least resistance. People in general don't want to expend time or energy learning the rulesets that each subgroup needs followed to feel included and safe. This goes for non-privileged groups as well, isolating themselves from other non-privileged groups. When going into a situation unknowing can get you shamed and called out, the path of least resistance that does not result in a negative outcome is not engaging with other groups of people unlike yourself. AKA the opposite of what our stated goals are. People don't want to act robotic, and they don't want to isolate themselves.