The most disrespectful part of the "Don't" examples are that they are vague about their concerns while simultaneously expecting a concession from the other part

The most disrespectful part of the "Don't" examples are that they are vague about their concerns while simultaneously expecting a concession from the other party in the review. They say, "your code/approach is wrong, but I don't feel like explaining why I think it's wrong". That's what sets up the context for the you-s to be interpreted as jerky. "You" can certainly be used in a non-disrespectful way, but not when the rest of the comment it is attached to is disrespectful. Code reviews are like small debates, and successful debates do involve courtesy, patience, and arguing in good faith, which are also basic life skills.